Got a job offer in Denver. It's a huge opportunity - like 40% raise - but I have 50/50 custody in California. My ex will absolutely say no to me moving with the kids. Do I have any leg to stand on here legally? Is this something I need a lawyer for?
I haven't accepted the job yet and honestly I'm torn. Don't want to turn down the opportunity but also don't want to move away from my kids.
A buddy went through this. Tried to move to Colorado with his two kids from a California custody agreement. His ex fought it, lawyer costs ballooned, and he ended up turning down the job. Said the legal fees alone would've eaten the raise anyway.
Real question: can your ex move to Denver too? Like could you negotiate that she relocates with you guys? If the job is that good maybe it's worth making it happen legally rather than creating a custody nightmare.
This is why people regret 50/50 custody agreements sometimes. Not saying yours was a mistake but it does make big life decisions way harder. Get legal advice before you even tell your ex about the job offer.
The honest answer is you have almost no leg to stand on unless you can prove living in Denver is significantly better for the kids AND that your ex is being unreasonable to block it. That's a high bar. Consult a lawyer before making any moves.
You need a family law attorney in California ASAP. Not Reddit. The short answer is no, you probably can't move the kids without her consent unless you can prove it's in their best interest AND she's being unreasonable. 40% raise isn't enough on its own.
I hate to say it but unless your ex agrees or there's a really compelling reason (like the mom's moving too), CA courts aren't gonna let you just take the kids out of state. They see it as limiting their relationship with the other parent. Document everything for your lawyer though.
You're gonna need a family law attorney in CA, not reddit. 50/50 is pretty locked in and courts prioritize stability for kids. A 40% raise might help your case for relocation but only if you can show it's in the kids' best interest too, not just yours. That's a tough sell.
lol bro you're about to learn that a 40% raise doesn't matter when you're paying for two households AND a custody battle lawyer. Talk to your ex first before you burn bridges. Maybe she'd be cool with it or wants to move too.
Did you ask her directly yet or are you just assuming she'll say no? My ex surprised me by actually being reasonable when I didn't go in defensive. Worst case she says no and you know where you stand. Best case she's open to it.
Sign in to join the conversation.
IANAL but a buddy went through this in CO. He had to show the move wouldn't harm the relationship with the mom and that the kids would be better off. He lost. Even with a big job offer. Get a consult before you tell your ex anything.