I don't even know why but every time it's my day to pick up the kids, I get this knot in my chest the hour before. We've been separated for 3 years. It's fine. We're not fighting. The exchanges are smooth. But I'm still anxious every single time. Anyone else deal with this or am I just weird?
Have you talked to anyone about this? Like not therapy-forced, but maybe a friend or a dad group where you can just name it? Sometimes saying it out loud to someone helps your brain realize everything's actually okay.
The knot in your chest is real even when everything is fine. Three years and smooth exchanges is huge but that doesn't erase the earlier years. Your nervous system learned to be anxious during those transitions. It'll probably chill eventually but naming it is the first step.
You're not weird. The separation anxiety makes sense even when the logistics are smooth. Your nervous system remembers that this used to be a conflict zone. Even if it's not anymore, your body might not have caught up.
3 years in and smooth exchanges but still anxious is legit. Do you think it's anxiety about the kids being okay with you? Or more about the actual transition logistics? That might help you figure out what's triggering it.
Have you talked to your therapist about this or are you just white-knuckling it? Because if it's affecting your week regularly, might be worth actually addressing instead of just accepting it.
You're not weird. That's actually pretty normal even when co-parenting is healthy. Your nervous system is remembering the old conflict even though your brain knows things are fine now.
The knot in your chest might be residual trauma from when things weren't smooth. Even though they're good now, your body remembers when they weren't. That's actually pretty common with co-parenting.
That's not weird at all man. Even when everything is fine logistically, the emotional weight of transitions is real. You're literally shifting your whole identity back and forth every few days. Some anxiety is totally normal.
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Do you get anxious about pickup or about the whole day itself? Because those are different things. If it's just the hour before pickup, that might be pure habit/anxiety that will fade. If it's the whole transition, that's bigger.