My 12yo doesn't want to come to my place anymore

Jan 141 min read

This has been eating at me for weeks ngl. My son used to be excited about his weekends with me but lately he's been making excuses or just sitting on his phone the whole time. I asked him what's up and he said "your apartment is boring and I don't have my friends there."

I get it - he's 12, he's got friends and activities, but my ex gets him during the week for all the school stuff and his sports team. When does he get to see me? I feel like I'm losing him and I don't know how to fix it without pressuring him. Any dads dealt with this?

5 comments303 views

Comments(5)

AAlex T.New DadJan 15

Could also be that his mom said something or he overheard a conversation. Co-parenting can get messy and kids are little sponges. My ex used to make snide comments about my place and my daughter picked up on the vibe. Once we got on the same page it got better.

VVincentRegularJan 15

This hurts man, I get it. Before you spiral though, ask yourself if anything changed on your end either. New girlfriend? Less one-on-one time because you're always on your phone? I'm not judging, just saying sometimes they pick up on stuff we don't realize we're doing different.

DDerek T.RegularJan 17

Therapy might not be a bad call for you just to have someone to talk to about this. The feelings you're having are valid even if there's a rational explanation coming. You shouldn't have to white knuckle through this alone.

NNathanRegularJan 17

Have you asked him directly what changed? Like sit down without judgment and just listen. Could be something at school, something he heard, or maybe he's at that age where he's more interested in video games with his friends. My 11yo went through something similar and it turned out he just wanted to invite a friend over instead of doing our usual stuff.

KKevin M.RegularJan 17

Have you tried asking what WOULD make him want to come? Like actually plan something he picks instead of what you think he'd like. Sometimes at that age they want a say in their own weekend.