My 7yo refuses to call his stepmom 'mom' and I'm getting heat from both sides | DadHQ

My 7yo refuses to call his stepmom 'mom' and I'm getting heat from both sides

Jan 81 min read

This is getting really uncomfortable. My new girlfriend moved in about 6 months ago and she's been great with my son, but he still calls her by her first name. My ex is now using this as ammunition, saying it "proves" he's not bonding with her and blaming me for not encouraging it. My girlfriend says she doesn't care, but I can tell she's hurt sometimes.

I don't want to force the kid to call her something he's not ready for. Is this something that just takes time? Anyone else deal with this?

5 comments102 views

Comments(5)

JJacobNew DadJan 9

This is tricky because you need to let him figure out what he's comfortable with. You can't force a kid to call someone mom or dad, especially if his real mom is in the picture. He's 7 so he's old enough to have legitimate feelings about this.

ZZack M.RegularJan 9

Six months is still pretty early. Some kids take way longer to warm up to this situation. I'd tell your girlfriend to give it time and stop pushing it. Kids can sense when they're being pressured and it makes them dig in harder.

SSteveNew DadJan 9

Your girlfriend shouldn't expect a stepkid to call her mom. That's on her to manage her expectations, not on a 7 year old to change who he is. The fact that she's putting pressure on you about this is a red flag honestly.

CChristopherNew DadJan 10

My son does the same thing with my girlfriend and honestly we just let it go. He calls her by her name and that's fine. He's got a mom and he knows the difference. Forcing it just creates resentment.

MMitchell R.RegularJan 11

Have you asked him directly why he doesn't want to call her mom? Like actually sat down and listened instead of trying to convince him? He might have a reason that makes sense from his perspective. At 7 years old his feelings are pretty valid.