My 8yo asked me why mommy and daddy don't live together

Dec 10·1 min read

It happened yesterday during dinner. She asked point blank. I froze for a second, then just told her the truth - that sometimes parents love their kids a lot but can't live together as a couple, that it's not her fault, that we both love her equally.

I didn't bash her mom, didn't get into details about the separation. She seemed satisfied with that answer. Just wanted to share because I've been dreading this question and it actually wasn't as bad as I thought?

5 comments304 views

Comments(5)

HHank L.RegularDec 11

You handled that really well. Straight truth without overcomplicating it is the right move for an 8yo. She can handle honesty better than some adults can.

WWes B.RegularDec 12

The way you framed it - 'we love you but can't live together' - is exactly what kids need to hear. So many parents make it weird or unclear. You gave her clarity and that matters.

BBen D.RegularDec 12

This is the scariest question as a co-parenting dad but it's also the most important one to handle right. Did she seem ok after you explained it or is she still processing?

TTim B.RegularDec 11

How do you balance being honest with her while also not bad-mouthing her mom or getting bitter about the situation? That's the part I'm always worried about in these conversations

MMatt W.RegularDec 13

The fact that you froze for a second is totally normal but then you gave her a real answer that treats her like she's old enough to understand. That's good parenting right there.