This is killing me. He says he misses his mom too much on my weekends. We do stuff together, I cook dinner, we play games, but he just seems sad the whole time. His mom says she's not telling him to feel this way but I don't know if I believe that. How do I fix this without making him feel guilty? I miss my kid even when he's right there with me.
This is tough man. At 8 he can articulate what he's feeling but he probably doesn't understand the bigger picture. Have you talked to his mom about him missing her during your time? Maybe you both need to adjust how you're handling the transition or maybe he needs to talk to someone about the anxiety of splitting time.
The cooking stuff is nice but at 8 he might be more interested in just being near you doing regular stuff. Maybe less activity planning and more just hanging out? Also make sure your place actually feels like home for him - his stuff there, his space, not just a visitor's room.
Does he know he can talk to you about missing his mom? Sometimes kids think they're betraying you by saying that. Let him know it's okay to miss her and that you get it, and that you guys can still have a great time together. Make the place feel less like 'dad's place' and more like his home base too.
to join the conversation.
I'm not gonna sugarcoat it - this one hurts. But it's usually not about you or what you're doing. Kids that age struggle with transitions and missing one parent while with the other. You might need to talk to a family therapist about how to help him through this, not just what activities you're doing together.