Ouch. She's 10 and apparently that's the new descriptor for why her room at mom's (redone with new furniture, pink everywhere, very Pinterest) feels 'better' than her room at my place. I'm not trying to compete financially but like... I want her to feel at home here too? Bit of a gut punch ngl.
Ask her what would make her room feel 'happier' to her. Like literally ask. It might be something small - better lighting, posters of stuff she likes, less clutter. Kids often want input on their space more than they want new furniture.
Ouch is right. But also 10yo describing a room as "happier" is her way of saying 'this feels like someone invested in my space.' Not a money problem, more of a 'does this room reflect that you're thinking about me' problem.
Ouch is right. That hits different at 10 because she's being pretty specific about it, not just random kid stuff. The 'happier' descriptor means she's picking up on atmosphere/vibe, not just furniture. That's the tough part to fix with money.
The Pinterest mom thing is so real - a fully redesigned room FEELS like love to a 10yo even if it wasn't meant that way. Your space can feel like love too though, just has to be intentional in a different way.
Real talk: some of this might just be that her mom's house is 'new and special' and yours is everyday routine. Doesn't mean her room sucks or that you suck. But if you have budget, even small stuff like new bedding or letting her paint an accent wall can shift the vibe without being expensive.
The 'happier' comment is brutal but it's also helpful data. Instead of guessing what makes a room feel good, involve her in making her space at your place actually HERS. Collaboration > competition with mom.
You don't have to compete financially but you DO need to compete on the 'this person thought about what I like' level. Doesn't have to be expensive. New stuff on the walls SHE picks? A color she likes? Plants? Something that says you know her.
Co-parenting with unequal resources is brutal. But the 'happier' descriptor is really about feeling seen, not about the price tag. Could be a good conversation starter at 10yo level - 'I noticed you feel happier at mom's place, what would make THIS space feel happier to you?'
This hits different because it's not just about the room, it's her saying 'mom's space values me more.' That's the gut punch. But you can fix it without money - just with attention.
Maybe get her input on how to make HER room at your place feel 'happier'? Like actually listen to what she'd like, not just parent-decides-what's-nice. At 10 she has opinions and wanting her input might be the gesture that matters.
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This one's tough because you can't compete with the Pinterest aesthetic mom probably has time to curate. But 'home' is also about how you make her feel, not what color the walls are. That said, maybe ask what SHE wants her room to look like instead of guessing?