My ex keeps bad-mouthing me to the kids

Apr 291 min read

Been dealing with this for about 6 months now and I'm at my breaking point. My 7 year old came back after a weekend saying I 'ruined the family' because I'm apparently selfish. The kid shouldn't be hearing that stuff about their parent. I've tried talking to my ex about it but she gets defensive. My lawyer says I might have grounds to adjust custody if it's affecting the kids emotionally but I don't want to escalate things. Anyone else dealing with this? How do you handle it without making it worse?

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Comments(5)

VVincentNew DadApr 29

That's rough, man. A 7 year old saying that has to sting. You might want to document these things and consider talking to a family counselor about coaching your kids to handle the negativity better - they shouldn't be caught in the middle like that.

FFrank K.RegularApr 29

Six months of this is brutal. I've been there with my daughter hearing stuff that just isn't true, and it's hard not to snap back. Stay the course and let your actions speak louder than her words do.

AAlexRegularApr 29

Document everything and consider a family mediator if you're not already doing that. I know that sounds intense but after 6 months of this, it's affecting your kids and you need to protect them from being put in the middle. Your 7yo shouldn't be hearing that stuff.

PPedroRegularApr 30

This is such a tough spot and I'm sorry you're dealing with it. Have you been able to talk to your ex directly about this or does that just make it worse? I've found that a calm conversation sometimes works better than you'd think, but I also know that's not always possible depending on the dynamic.

PPedroRegularApr 30

When your kid brings this stuff up, I try to just keep it simple - 'your mom and I love you, we just disagree on some things' - and then redirect to something else. It sucks that they're being put in this position at all though.