My son asked why daddy isn't at his baseball games

Nov 261 min read

This one hit different. He's 6 and my custody is Tue/Thu/Sat-Sun so I miss his Monday game. His mom takes him, posts videos, the whole thing. He asked me why I 'don't come to them anymore' - and I had to explain the schedule without making it sound like I can't be there (even though I... can't be there, it's not my time). He seemed sad about it. I'm thinking about asking my ex if we can adjust the schedule slightly but honestly we only settled on this about 4 months ago after mediating so I don't want to seem flaky. Just venting but also does anyone know how to handle this conversation with a 6yo?

6 comments368 views

Comments(6)

SShane K.New Dad14h ago

This is tough because the honest answer (the custody schedule doesn't line up) will feel like an excuse to a 6yo. But it's worth talking to your ex about whether the game could move or if you can attend even if it's not technically your day.

JJason K.New Dadjust now

The 'I can't' vs 'I won't change the schedule for this' distinction matters but a 6yo can't process that difference. All he hears is 'dad's not coming.' Worth revisiting the custody schedule if certain recurring events fall on the other parent's day.

RRyan G.Regular4h ago

This one stings. My kid said something similar and it made me realize the schedule was more important to me than actually being there. Had a conversation with my ex about making exceptions for big games and it actually helped our co-parenting.

TTyler H.Regularjust now

We had this same issue with soccer. I asked my ex if we could swap one Monday so I could catch a game and she agreed. Doesn't have to be every game but important ones, it's worth negotiating.

RRaj P.Regular1d ago

Real talk: kids' events matter more than perfect 50/50 scheduling. If your custody agreement is totally rigid, that's the actual problem. Maybe talk to your ex about building in flexibility for stuff like school events, games, etc.

WWill S.Regular19h ago

Could you ask his mom if you can show up to the Monday game even though he's with her? Bring your son a snack, cheer from the stands, then he goes home with her. Some exes are cool with this.