Need advice on 50/50 custody and school stuff - whose responsibility?

Feb 281 min read

Going through the divorce now and we're trying to figure out shared custody. Lawyers mentioned something about 'primary decisions' but I want to be involved in school stuff since I was the one doing homework help before. How does everyone handle this with their exes? Like if the kid needs new shoes or parent-teacher conferences happen on her week, am I supposed to just accept I miss it? My ex isn't being difficult about it but I don't want to set a bad precedent where I'm just the weekend dad.

11 comments197 views

Comments(11)

KKevinRegularMar 2

50/50 custody with school stuff gets complicated fast. School contacts, pickup responsibilities, field trip permission forms, who handles what. Write it all down in the agreement now so you don't end up fighting about it later.

BBen M.RegularMar 2

Been through this with my ex. We ended up putting it in writing that school stuff gets communicated through email so there's a record. Made things way less contentious than trying to figure it out on the fly.

EEd P.RegularFeb 28

Primary decisions usually means health, education, and stuff like that. Get it in writing with a lawyer so you're both on the same page about school enrollment and big calls. Makes everything cleaner.

SSam T.New DadFeb 28

Being involved in school decisions is huge for staying connected with your kids. Make sure that's locked in during the custody agreement so there's no confusion later.

PPete A.RegularFeb 28

With custody stuff, the key is having clear agreements about decisions upfront. It saves a lot of back and forth when it's spelled out. Your lawyer's on the right track with the primary decisions talk.

VVincentRegularFeb 28

The lawyers will tell you one thing but honestly it depends on your local laws. Where are you located? That makes a huge difference in how custody and school decisions work.

BBen M.RegularMar 2

We do 50/50 and what worked for us was having one parent be the 'primary contact' for school forms and teacher stuff, but major decisions get made together. Cuts down on confusion for the school too.

CChristopher T.New DadMar 2

Sorry you're going through this. The logistics are rough but the good news is courts usually default to what's best for the kids and that usually means both parents staying involved in school stuff.

BBen M.RegularMar 2

Going through this now too. The lawyers will tell you everything but here's the real talk: try to work it out directly with your ex on school stuff if you can. It's way less expensive than fighting in court every time a permission slip comes up.

BBrandonNew DadMar 2

Honestly the responsibility stuff gets figured out but the hardest part is making sure the kids know both parents are involved in their education. That matters more than who signs what form.

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MManuelRegularMar 2

The big thing is communication. You'll both need to be on the same page about school events, grades, teacher meetings. We set up a shared email for school stuff and it cut down a ton of arguments. Worth suggesting to your ex.