Got a new partner and things are getting serious. Kids are 5 and 8, and my ex is already losing her mind about it even though she's had her boyfriend around for a year. I want to introduce her gradually but my ex is acting like I'm going to traumatize them. How do you guys navigate this? I don't think I need her permission but also don't want drama affecting the kids. What's reasonable here?
That's tough, but you've got every right to move on just like she has. Keep it calm and measured with the intro and don't engage if she's being unreasonable about it.
This is a big moment. I'd suggest going slow with introductions - maybe a casual activity where it's not like a formal 'meet my girlfriend' situation. Kids that age pick up on tension, and if your ex is already upset, the kids are probably sensing that stress.
Just be honest with the kids at an age-appropriate level. No need to oversell it, just introduce her naturally and let things unfold. If your ex loses it, that's on her to manage - you're allowed to move forward. Just keep the kids' stability as the priority.
How's your relationship with your ex right now? I've learned the hard way that how much the other parent freaks out matters less than how calm and consistent you are with the kids. Keep the introduction low-key and make it clear she's part of your life, not replacing their mom.
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Man, the double standard is real. My ex did the same thing when I started dating again, but honestly just keep things low-key at first and don't let her drama stress you out. Your kids will adjust fine.