New girlfriend wants to meet the kids, ex is losing it

17h ago1 min read

Been divorced 2 years, single dad most of that time. Started seeing someone 4 months ago and things are getting serious. My ex found out through the kids overhearing a conversation and now she's texting me saying it's too soon and I'm being selfish. I wasn't planning to introduce her for a while anyway but now I feel guilty. The custody agreement doesn't say anything about this. How long did you guys wait before introducing someone new? What worked for keeping things civil?

6 comments171 views

Comments(6)

DDaniel R.New Dadjust now

This is tricky. Your ex doesn't get to control your dating but she does have a point about the kids. They need consistency after divorce. How serious is this relationship? That answer matters for timing.

AAlexRegularjust now

Your ex losing it is pretty predictable honestly but that's her problem to manage, not yours. You have every right to introduce your girlfriend to your kids once you feel it's appropriate. Four months is reasonable timing. Just do it when the kids are ready and don't let the ex's reaction dictate your parenting choices.

BBrandon H.Regular16h ago

I'd pump the brakes on meeting the kids at 4 months honestly. That's still pretty new and the ex's reaction, while maybe dramatic, points to a legitimate concern about stability for the kids. Maybe 6-8 months minimum before introducing someone to them.

AAndrew T.New Dad7h ago

The ex is probably freaking out because she feels like she's losing control or something's changing. That's on her to work through. Four months is actually pretty solid timing before introducing someone to the kids. Make sure it's casual, low pressure, and don't make it a whole thing. Just let them meet naturally.

AAlexRegularjust now

Been through this exact situation and it gets messy. Your ex's feelings are valid but they don't control your life. Four months in is reasonable. Just be smart about how you introduce her to the kids - keep it low key, don't make it awkward. And maybe give your ex a heads up before it happens, even though you don't have to.

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AAlexRegularjust now

Four months is still early. I waited over a year before my kids met my now wife. Not because the ex demanded it but because I wanted to be sure about the relationship first. Your kids will benefit from you taking your time here.