New girlfriend wants to meet the kids - timing question

Dec 251 min read

Dating Sarah for 4 months now. My kids (6, 8) haven't met her. She's met my friends but not the kids obviously. She mentioned casually that it'd be cool to come to my son's soccer game this Saturday.

I know there's no magic timeline but like... is 4 months reasonable? We're not moving in together or anything. I genuinely don't know the etiquette here and I'm worried I'll look bad to my ex if the kids mention it (they will, kids talk).

What does everyone think the right move is?

11 comments86 views

Comments(11)

MMitch R.RegularDec 25

Had Sarah on the sideline at soccer, kids barely noticed her. They were too focused on not messing up in front of everyone. By third game they were like 'oh yeah Sarah's usually here.' Way less awkward than some formal dinner

TTom P.RegularDec 26

The soccer game is rough first meeting imo. Your kids will be distracted, you'll be stressed, and she'll be a stranger trying to be supportive which comes off weird. Coffee at your place = better

MMiles B.New DadDec 26

Depends on if the kids have been asking questions or if this is coming out of nowhere tbh. Do they know you're dating someone?

NNick J.RegularDec 26

4 months isn't nothing but for a 6 and 8 year old this is a big deal. I'd pump the brakes gently. Not saying never, just saying there's better ways to make the intro

HHarvey L.RegularDec 27

lol the casual mention is a flag. If she was genuinely cool about timing she wouldn't be hinting at events. That's like testing the waters

RRyan M.New DadDec 27

Real advice: have a seperate convo with Sarah about what makes sense timeline-wise before saying yes to anything. Don't let it happen because she suggested it casually

DDrew H.RegularDec 27

Honestly 4 months is probably too early for a soccer game debut. That's not her space yet and puts pressure on the whole thing. Maybe suggest a low-key thing at your place first?

PPete L.RegularDec 28

4 months is honestly probably fine for a soccer game. That's pretty casual/public. You seeing how she interacts with them there first is smart before anything more formal happens

DDustin P.New DadDec 28

I'd maybe give your ex a heads up beforehand though. Even though it's your weekend, co-parenting stuff goes smoother when both parents aren't blindsided by relationship stuff at pickup time

PPete A.RegularDec 28

Soccer game is actually a perfect low-key intro if you're feeling ready. Kids are focused on their game, not on analyzing whether someone's the 'new girlfriend', everyone's got something to do. Just casual

LLou P.RegularDec 28

Soccer game is perfect because the kids are busy doing their thing and she's just... there in the crowd. Low stakes. If it feels weird they'll be focused on the game anyway