Our parenting styles are completely different and it's causing issues | DadHQ

Our parenting styles are completely different and it's causing issues

Dec 301 min read

I'm pretty permissive - my kids love being at my place because there's fewer rules. Their mom is strict (bedtimes, screens, etc). I KNOW this is a problem. My 12yo especially is starting to use it against us like "dad lets me" and she's getting frustrated with me. I want to align with my ex but also I genuinely believe my approach is better for their development. How do we navigate this without my kids resenting the stricter rules at mom's?

6 comments843 views

Comments(6)

PPete Y.RegularDec 30

Have you asked the kids what they'd prefer instead of assuming they want no rules? Sometimes kids actually feel lost without structure and they're just not saying it out loud.

MMike R.New DadDec 31

Real talk: the kids will eventually realize that both structures serve a purpose. Right now they prefer the freedom but as they get older they might actually appreciate having a parent who sets expectations. Don't wait til they're teenagers to figure this out.

SSam T.New DadJan 1

The hardest part of co-parenting is realizing that being different isn't the same as being at odds. Different doesn't have to mean conflicting. Can you at least align on bedtimes, homework, and a few core things without feeling like you're betraying your parenting style?

AAaron T.New DadJan 1

The kids saying they like your place better doesn't mean your approach is better. They like it in the moment but they actually need boundaries. Maybe try implementing a few solid rules and see if the home feels more secure? The kids will respect you more for it.

JJake M.RegularJan 1

I get why you want to be the fun parent but this is causing actual conflict with their mom. Kids need both structure AND freedom. Maybe talk to her about where you can both compromise on specific things instead of being on opposite ends.

GGarrettRegularJan 1

This dynamic is so common and it causes real problems for the kids even if they like being at yours more. They need structure and consistency, not just the house where everything is allowed. You might have to be the one to shift your approach here.