PSA: Don't badmouth your ex to your kids (even when you're mad)

Dec 21 min read

My 10yo repeated something really cruel I said about their mom last week and it destroyed me. I was venting to a friend who was over, thought the kids were upstairs. They weren't. My son looked at me like I was a stranger. I apologized to him AND to his mom, which was humbling as hell. Just wanted to put this out there because I know I'm not the only one who's said stuff I shouldn't have. Your kids love both of you even when you don't love each other. Worth remembering.

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Comments(10)

TTyler H.Regularjust now

This is such important advice. I've caught myself about to vent about my ex right in front of the kids and had to stop. Not worth it, no matter how justified the complaint is.

AAndy S.Regular20h ago

This is important PSA honestly. Kids are sponges and they repeat stuff at the worst times. But also - you caught it, you fixed it, you modeled accountability. That's the actual lesson here.

MMatt J.Regularjust now

The look on the kid's face when they realize their parent isn't perfect... that's heavy. But you handled it right by apologizing directly instead of explaining it away or minimizing it.

RRyan G.Regularjust now

The fact that you apologized to your son AND your ex about it matters so much. A lot of dads wouldn't go that far. That teaches your kid something real about accountability.

CCarlos M.New Dadjust now

This is the post every divorced dad needs to read. The kids don't benefit from ammunition against their other parent, they just feel torn. You fixed this and that's huge.

DDale J.Regularjust now

How did your ex respond to the apology? That takes guts to do and I'm curious if it helped repair things or if there's still tension.

ZZack M.Regularjust now

Props for apologizing to both of them though. A lot of dads would just brush past it. That actually matters and your 10yo will remember that you took it seriously.

GGabe R.Regular1d ago

This is the real parenting lesson right here. Kids will repeat ANYTHING they hear, especially the stuff they think you're upset about. So yeah, never vent about the other parent even if you think they're not listening.

FFrank D.Regularjust now

Did your son bring it up again after you apologized or did he just move on? Trying to gauge how much damage control you might need to do.

CClint R.Regularjust now

Oof yeah that's a hard lesson. The look on your kid's face when they realize Dad said something mean about Mom - that's the thing that sticks with you.