Rant: ex keeps mentioning her boyfriend in front of the kids

Dec 121 min read

She's been seeing this guy for like 6 weeks and she's already telling my kids (4yo and 6yo) stories about him constantly. "Oh Jake thinks that's funny" or "Jake took us to get ice cream". My kids are starting to ask when they get to meet him and I'm just... not ready for this yet?

Like I get she has a life but my kids are still adjusting to the split. We've only been separated 8 months. And she hasn't even asked me if I'm comfortable with them meeting him. Is it normal for her to do this or am I justified in being annoyed?

10 comments488 views

Comments(10)

MMarcus W.RegularDec 12

Ugh same situation here, different guy. When she realized I wasn't reacting emotionally to it, she actually toned it down. Your kids will figure out what's real vs performative anyway

CChuck M.RegularDec 13

I'd lose it too. The lack of respect for the fact that your kids don't need to be invested in her dating life at 4 and 6 would kill me. Have you talked to her about it or just venting?

BBob G.RegularDec 13

The ice cream thing would bother me way more than I'm willing to admit in real life. Good on you for staying calm enough to post about it instead of blowing up

HHank L.RegularDec 13

This is the annoying part of co-parenting imo. You can't control what she does but maybe mention (calmly, in writing via text) that you'd prefer she not make the kids' visits about her boyfriend. Keep it about their experience, not his

RRaj P.RegularDec 14

The ice cream thing bugs me more than the stories honestly. That's when it feels like he's trying to buy favor with YOUR kids after 6 weeks. Nah

MMarcus W.RegularDec 15

This is exactly why my custody agreement has a clause about introducing new partners. Might be worth checking if yours does? If not definitely talk to your lawyer about amending it. Your kids don't need to know about every person she dates

SScott W.RegularDec 15

The ice cream thing especially sucks because your kids are gonna associate him with fun stuff and you're gonna be the homework/bedtime guy. Not fair but it's the dynamic that forms

SSteve Q.RegularDec 15

Yeah my ex does this and honestly it messes with my head. But I had to remember - if I say something about it, I look jealous. Just keep doing your thing and being consistent. Your presence will speak louder than "Jake"

BByron S.RegularDec 15

6 weeks and he's already being mentioned constantly to the kids is wild. That's not about introducing the kids to her life, that's about her making herself the center of their world real quick. I'd be frustrated too

RRich B.RegularDec 15

6 weeks in and already in the 'Jake took us for ice cream' zone is WILD. That's the move a guy makes when he's trying way too hard. Your ex's too, honestly