So I get the kids June 15-22, and she just texted saying she booked a beach trip for June 16-19 and asked if I "could maybe take them those days instead." Like no, that's literally the one week I had blocked off. She knew about it 3 months ago. This happens constantly and I don't know how to set a boundary without being the "difficult" parent.
I had to deal with this too. What worked for me was telling my ex that swaps have to be requested at least 30 days in advance and she has to find the childcare for any days she can't take them. Took three times of me saying no before she stopped trying this.
This is the exact reason you have a custody agreement in writing. Pull it out, reference the dates, and respond in writing (text/email). Keep it factual: "Our agreement shows June 15-22 is my custodial week. The kids will be with me those dates." Don't JADE (justify, argue, defend, explain).
That's bracket blocking and it's garbage. She can't just swap weeks because she wants a vacation. Your custody agreement is literally the one thing protecting your time. Did your agreement say anything about switching weeks? Because if not, the answer is a firm no.
Had a similar thing happen where my ex wanted to move her week because her new boyfriend was visiting. I asked her if I could move my week because I wanted to go to a concert—suddenly she was all about "the kids need consistency." Turns out consistency only matters when it's her schedule.
What did you say back to her? The fact that she's framing it as a favor you could do ("could maybe take them") is wild - she's not asking, she's guilt-tripping.
That's completely disrespectful of your custody agreement. June 15-22 is YOUR week - she can't just move her vacation and expect you to shuffle things around. Don't give in on this one.
I get the frustration but honestly this is where a mediator or custody app (like OurFamilyWizard) helps. Removes the emotional back-and-forth and keeps everything documented. Might be worth it if this keeps happening.
lol same situation happened to me. I told my ex straight up: "You booked during my week, that's on you. The kids will be with me as scheduled." She wasn't happy but she figured it out. You have to hold the line or this becomes a pattern.
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lol the audacity of asking if you could "maybe" take them during HER beach trip. That's not asking, that's telling you to rearrange your life so she doesn't have to change her plans. Hold the line man.