Every Sunday when I pick up the boys (12 and 14) they're in the WORST moods. Sulky, short with me, don't want to do anything. I'm trying not to take it personally but it's like losing the first few hours together. Anyone else deal with this? Is this just normal teenage stuff or adjustment stuff or what??
those first couple hours hit different. my 13yo does the same thing on Sundays. i stopped trying to force fun activities and just let him decompress first. gave him space to transition instead of jumping right into stuff with me
Those ages are rough with transitions. Not saying their attitude is okay but their brains are literally rewiring and switching between households is actually cognitive load for them. Might not be personal
Oof this is hard because you can't fix their mood but also you feel like you should. Maybe plan something low-key for those first few hours - video game time, just chilling, not forcing interaction?
lol i thought it was just my kids. both of mine turn into zombies those first few hours. at least you're trying to be thoughtful about it instead of getting mad at them for being grumpy
this is so real. transition days used to wreck me until i realized it's not about me at all - it's them switching mental modes between households. rough on them even if they can't articulate it. now i just expect the grumpiness and don't read into it
replying to the decompression comment - 100%. we learned to just do quiet stuff first. gaming, movie in background, low pressure hangout. by hour 3 they're actually present
could it be that your ex's place has different rules/vibes and they're stressed about switching? that was our issue until we synced up a bit more on basic structure
That's the age where they're just moody in general though, right? Not defending the behavior but like... 12 and 14 are peak sulk years regardless of custody. Might not be transition stuff, might just be being a preteen/teen
The first few hours are a write-off for us too. I stopped trying to make it a fun day immediately and just gave them space. They warm up by Monday
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Have you asked them what's actually wrong on Sundays? Like are they tired, mad at their mom, just switching gears? Might help to know if it's transition-specific or just standard teenage nonsense