Real question: does it get easier?

Dec 31·1 min read

First transition day with my kids after the separation was finalized last month. Got them yesterday, dropped them off this morning, and I'm sitting in my apartment feeling completely hollow.

Everyone says "it gets easier" but that feels like bullshit right now. I miss them and they're still in the same city. I hate that I only have them 40% of the time. This sucks and I needed to say it out loud to people who get it.

5 comments207 views

Comments(5)

SStan D.RegularJan 1

Hey, I'm glad it went well. That first transition is rough but it sounds like you handled it. The fact that you're thinking about making it easier on them already puts you ahead. Just be consistent and patient with yourself.

JJordanNew DadJan 2

The guilt hits hardest on the days they leave. That's real and valid. But remember you're still their dad regardless of the schedule. Every moment you're present counts.

JJoey M.RegularJan 2

Honestly the first year after separation is the hardest. You're learning how to parent in a totally new setup and so are the kids. But they adapt faster than you'd think. How long do you have them for?

LLuis M.New DadJan 3

You're doing the hard part just by showing up and caring about the transition. Some dads check out after separation but you're asking the right questions. That matters more than you know.

EEd R.RegularJan 2

It gets easier but differently than you expect. The logistics stay weird but emotionally it becomes your new normal. Focus on being present when they're with you and not beating yourself up when they're not.