Real talk: Does the 50/50 split actually work or is it Instagram fantasy? | DadHQ

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Real talk: Does the 50/50 split actually work or is it Instagram fantasy?

Jan 18·1 min read

Everyone on the internet makes 50/50 sound amazing but honestly we're struggling. My ex moved 20 minutes further away, so pickup and dropoff is basically an hour round trip for me twice a week. The kids have stuff at different houses so I'm constantly buying duplicates (clothes, toothbrushes, meds for allergies). We both work full time. It feels chaotic not peaceful. Is it supposed to be this exhausting or are we doing it wrong?

6 comments226 views

Comments(6)

CCarl S.RegularJan 19

We switched to 60/40 because the constant back and forth was stressing our son out. Sometimes equal isn't what's best for the kid. Have you considered that option?

BBen D.RegularJan 21

The real struggle is that 50/50 works great when both parents want similar things for the kids. When your parenting styles clash it becomes exhausting. That's where we hit problems.

MMarcusNew DadJan 20

The 20 minute difference is manageable honestly. We're 30 apart and we make it work. The real issue is whether you and the ex can actually communicate without drama. That's what kills 50/50.

DDanny R.RegularJan 21

Honestly this is refreshing to hear because every blog post makes it sound perfect. The reality is it's hard even when both parents are trying their best.

JJacobNew DadJan 21

50/50 only works if both parents are equally committed and flexible. The Instagram version always leaves out the constant scheduling negotiations and the guilt both parents feel.

DDerek T.RegularJan 19

What specifically is struggling right now? The logistics or the actual co-parenting piece? Those are two different problems that need different solutions.