Schedule swap nightmare - she keeps changing pickup times last minute

Dec 51 min read

So my ex keeps texting me like 30 mins before my custody swap on Fridays saying she needs to swap days or wants to pick up my 7yo early. It's messing with my work schedule and honestly my sanity. I've tried being flexible but now she's treating it like I'm just always available? How do you guys handle this without looking like the bad guy to your kids? We use OurFamilyWizard but she barely logs in properly.

12 comments243 views

Comments(12)

CCarlos M.New DadDec 6

30 mins is insane. That's not co-parenting, that's last-minute scrambling at your expense. Have you told her in writing that this needs to stop?

RRyan G.RegularDec 6

Tell her the next swap request needs to be 48 hours notice minimum or it doesn't happen. Say it once, then enforce it hard. Don't negotiate, don't explain.

DDale A.RegularDec 6

Start charging her for last minute cancellations. Not actually collecting money but documenting "requests for deviation from custody agreement" every single time. After a month of that in writing she'll stop.

WWill T.RegularDec 7

This is her testing you to see what she can get away with. The first time you say no and stick to it, magically the swaps stop. Bet money on it.

AAaron W.RegularDec 7

Have you told your son why the schedule keeps changing? Because HE'S the one getting confused here, not just your work calendar. That's the real problem.

TTim K.RegularDec 7

Does she do this on purpose or is she genuinely disorganized? Not that it matters for your stress level but context helps with how to handle it.

JJamal W.RegularDec 7

30 mins notice is disrespectful to your schedule and your kid honestly. Your 7yo probably doesn't even know what day he's being picked up anymore. You gotta set a boundary or this gets worse.

KKarl J.RegularDec 6

My ex used to do this exact thing and yep, it absolutely got worse until I stopped being flexible. Now she actually plans ahead because she knows I won't bail her out of poor planning.

TTom P.RegularDec 7

Your 7yo is probably picking up on the chaos too. Kids need consistency more than they need last-minute schedule changes for the adults. Stand your ground.

WWill T.RegularDec 7

Had an ex pull this and after I had to leave work early twice because of her 'emergencies' I started saying no. Suddenly her schedule became a lot more predictable lol.

WWade T.New DadDec 8

Our custody agreement got a clause that changes need 48hr notice minimum. Might be worth pushing for something similar if your custody order allows amendments. Your work and your kid's stability both suffer from this.

MMatt S.RegularDec 8

Honestly at some point you gotta stop being flexible about it. The second you give an inch she'll keep taking more. I learned this the hard way.