Son asked if I'm coming to his game but I don't have custody that day

Aug 131 min read

My boy is playing in his first real soccer match next Saturday and he really wants me there. But it's her weekend. I asked my ex if we could swap that weekend and she said no because they already have plans. I don't want to make him feel like I'm choosing something else over him, but I also don't want to keep breaking our agreement. He's 8 and doesn't really understand custody schedules. How do you guys handle this without making it awkward?

12 comments530 views

Comments(12)

JJesseRegularSep 7

Can you show up and just be on the other side of the field? I dont know the specifics of your situation but, if its a public space you have a right to be there. Let him know what side of the field you are on so he knows where to see you.

SScott M.RegularAug 14

I feel this one. My custody schedule doesn't always line up with the important stuff either. Best thing I did was talk to my ex about being flexible on the big moments. It matters to the kids.

VVincentExperiencedAug 14

That's tough man. Could you at least Facetime him before the game to pump him up? Won't be the same but he'll know you're thinking about him.

SSawyer N.RegularAug 13

That's a tough spot but his first soccer match deserves a try at swapping. Have you offered to swap a different weekend so she knows you're not just asking for favors?

MMark R.New DadAug 13

Can't miss his first big game. I'd have that conversation again with your ex and make it clear how important this is. Kids remember who showed up for the moments that mattered.

MMichael P.RegularAug 13

His first real match is huge. Definitely keep pushing on that swap request because this one matters to him. Most exes understand when it's something special like this.

RRyan M.RegularAug 13

Man this is rough. Have you tried talking to the other parent about making an exception for this one game? His first real match is a big deal and he'll remember if you're there.

PPaulRegularAug 13

Dude, reach out to his mom NOW. Don't wait for game day. Explain that this is important to him and ask if there's any way to work something out. Even if you can't swap days, being proactive shows your son you're trying. He'll remember that you showed up for him.

DDanielExperiencedAug 13

This hits different when it's their first time doing something. I'd honestly reach out and explain the situation. Most parents will understand that first match is special.

AAdam R.RegularAug 13

I feel this. My little one had his first baseball game and I almost missed it due to scheduling. I called the ex and we figured it out. Worst case, take pictures and video if you can't be there, but definitely try for a switch first.

RRyan M.RegularAug 14

First real soccer match is huge. I get it. Have you talked to your ex about maybe adjusting that one day? Most reasonable co-parents understand that some stuff is worth being flexible on. Frame it as what's best for the kid, not what you want.

EEvan M.RegularAug 15

Man, that's rough. Can you at least go to one of his practices or catch the highlights? Show him you're invested even if you can't make this game. And definitely ask her about switching if possible. Worth the conversation.