Son asked if I'm coming to his game but I don't have custody that day

3w ago1 min read

My boy is playing in his first real soccer match next Saturday and he really wants me there. But it's her weekend. I asked my ex if we could swap that weekend and she said no because they already have plans. I don't want to make him feel like I'm choosing something else over him, but I also don't want to keep breaking our agreement. He's 8 and doesn't really understand custody schedules. How do you guys handle this without making it awkward?

11 comments213 views

Comments(11)

SScott M.Regular3w ago

I feel this one. My custody schedule doesn't always line up with the important stuff either. Best thing I did was talk to my ex about being flexible on the big moments. It matters to the kids.

VVincentRegular3w ago

That's tough man. Could you at least Facetime him before the game to pump him up? Won't be the same but he'll know you're thinking about him.

SSawyer N.Regular3w ago

That's a tough spot but his first soccer match deserves a try at swapping. Have you offered to swap a different weekend so she knows you're not just asking for favors?

MMark R.New Dad3w ago

Can't miss his first big game. I'd have that conversation again with your ex and make it clear how important this is. Kids remember who showed up for the moments that mattered.

MMichael P.Regular3w ago

His first real match is huge. Definitely keep pushing on that swap request because this one matters to him. Most exes understand when it's something special like this.

RRyan M.Regular3w ago

Man this is rough. Have you tried talking to the other parent about making an exception for this one game? His first real match is a big deal and he'll remember if you're there.

PPaulRegular3w ago

Dude, reach out to his mom NOW. Don't wait for game day. Explain that this is important to him and ask if there's any way to work something out. Even if you can't swap days, being proactive shows your son you're trying. He'll remember that you showed up for him.

DDanielExperienced3w ago

This hits different when it's their first time doing something. I'd honestly reach out and explain the situation. Most parents will understand that first match is special.

AAdam R.Regular3w ago

I feel this. My little one had his first baseball game and I almost missed it due to scheduling. I called the ex and we figured it out. Worst case, take pictures and video if you can't be there, but definitely try for a switch first.

RRyan M.Regular3w ago

First real soccer match is huge. I get it. Have you talked to your ex about maybe adjusting that one day? Most reasonable co-parents understand that some stuff is worth being flexible on. Frame it as what's best for the kid, not what you want.

EEvan M.Regular3w ago

Man, that's rough. Can you at least go to one of his practices or catch the highlights? Show him you're invested even if you can't make this game. And definitely ask her about switching if possible. Worth the conversation.