He's 5 and finally asked the question last week. I did my best to keep it simple and age appropriate, told him it wasn't his fault and both of us love him so much. My ex and I have been trying to do the whole 'amicable split' thing but I'm worried I'm not handling this right. What did you guys say to your kids? I don't want to bad mouth his mom but I also want to be honest.
My oldest asked something similar. The key is they need to hear repeatedly that it's not about them and both parents still love them. You'll probably have to answer variations of this question for years, but each time he asks means he feels safe asking.
That's the hardest question to answer. Sounds like you nailed the age-appropriate part though. Five year olds are resilient if they know they're loved and safe. Keep reassuring him that this isn't his fault and that daddy and mommy both still love him.
You handled it the right way by keeping it simple. Kids that age don't need all the complicated details. As long as he knows it's not his fault and that both parents love him, that's what matters most.
Man that's tough. We're dealing with this too and our oldest is about the same age. I went with something like 'we both love you very much but we're happier living in different houses.' Seems to help.
That's a big moment. Did he ask follow up questions or did he seem satisfied with the answer? My 5 year old has asked me the same thing twice now and I feel like I'm not nailing the explanation.
Good on you for being honest but not overwhelming him. Kids that age don't need the full story, they just need to know both parents love them and it's not their fault. The fact that you're being thoughtful about how you explain it shows you care.
Sign in to join the conversation.
That's a tough question but sounds like you handled it really well. Keeping it simple and age-appropriate at five is the right call. How did he react? Is he asking follow-up questions or seems to have accepted it?