Not mad about the guy, seems fine, but my 9yo was confused why this dude was there and my ex didn't tell me beforehand he'd be around my kids. We're civil and all but this feels like something she should mention to me? Or am I overstepping? Don't want to be that guy but also want to know who's around my kids
That's a conversation that should happen between you two first before it happens at the house. Your son deserves to understand what's going on and not just walk into it confused. Seems like a reasonable thing to ask for going forward.
Yeah man, that's a conversation you gotta have with her. Not about the boyfriend himself but about communication. Your son deserves to know what's happening at either house.
You're right to address it. Your ex should've given you a heads up before introducing the kids to someone new, even if the guy seems cool. It's about respect and keeping everyone on the same page.
Tough spot. 9 year olds notice everything and they deserve honest answers. I'd sit down with your ex and have a quick conversation about how to talk to him about it. Not accusatory, just 'hey let's make sure we're on the same page for the kids.'
Yeah this is tough. The ex should have given the heads up beforehand so your son wasn't blindsided. Not about the guy being there, but about managing the kid's expectations and feelings about changes in the living situation. Have you been able to talk to your ex about how to handle this stuff together?
Honestly just be the stable one and answer his questions straight up when he asks. Keep it simple and age appropriate. Kids handle stuff way better when they're not left wondering and confused. Good luck with the ex on this one.
This is tricky. Your son is old enough to understand relationships but still needs reassurance. I'd just be matter of fact with him. 'Yeah mom's boyfriend is here sometimes, that's okay, it doesn't change anything about how much mom loves you.' Kids just need clarity.
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The confusion is normal but yeah you should probably touch base with your ex about how to handle questions like this. Kids handle it way better when both parents have the same casual vibe about it.