He's 13 and says he'd rather stay at moms place. Says it's because his friends are closer to her house and he doesn't want to switch schools for part of the week. I feel like I'm losing him. He used to be excited about his days with me. Is this normal or am I doing something wrong? How do I fix this without seeming desperate?
This is about the friend situation probably more than it's about you. 13 year olds are brutal about stuff like that. Maybe instead of fighting it try a different angle like 'what if some of your friends came over' or plan something cool you'd all do together. Takes pressure off him.
That's gotta hurt but don't let it make you distant. He's gonna need you even if he doesn't want to admit it. Keep the door open and the pressure off. Sometimes showing up and being cool about it without making him feel guilty is what keeps the relationship alive during the hard years.
I get it, but try not to take it personally. This age is all about peer groups and routine. Could you work with mom on keeping him at her place more but still have meaningful one-on-one time with you on weekends doing stuff he actually enjoys?
That's tough, man. At 13, friend groups and school continuity become huge. Maybe focus on making your place the fun hangout spot instead of fighting the schedule? Our kids are more likely to want to come over when there's something cool happening.
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Oof this one hits different at 13. Friends are everything at that age and proximity to them matters more than we'd like. I wouldn't take it personally. Instead of defending your place, ask what would make his time at your house better. Movie nights? More freedom? Let him help plan stuff. Make your place the fun option.