Split custody is exhausting me and I think I want more

5d ago·1 min read

Currently 50/50 but I do all the school runs on my days, pack lunches, help with homework. Ex gets them for long weekends and vacations but hardly does the day to day stuff. I love being with my kids but the constant switching between houses has them anxious and acting out. Thinking about asking for primary custody but I'm worried about how it'll look or if I'm just being bitter. Anyone gone through this?

4 comments190 views

Comments(4)

RRonRegular4d ago

You need to push back on this. 50/50 custody shouldn't mean you're doing 80/90 percent of the parenting work. Have you talked to her about sharing more of the school stuff? Or maybe restructuring so the days actually balance out better?

GGreg M.New Dad4d ago

Sounds like you need to have a real conversation about what 50/50 actually means. Because right now it's 50/50 on paper and 80/20 in reality. Don't be afraid to involve a mediator if she's not hearing you.

MMarco R.New Dad4d ago

This was my situation exactly. I finally sat down and made a literal list of everything I was doing on my days vs what my ex did on hers. Showed it to her and we renegotiated. You deserve support even if you're not together.

MMarco R.New Dad4d ago

The school runs and homework help thing is killer because it's not flashy stuff that gets celebrated. It's just daily grind. But you're not wrong that wanting more custody when you're already doing more of the actual parenting work is completely reasonable.