Step-parent trying too hard and my kid is uncomfortable | DadHQ

Step-parent trying too hard and my kid is uncomfortable

5d ago1 min read

My daughter came back from her mom's place saying the new boyfriend keeps trying to do activities with her and she feels pressured. She's 9 and wants space but doesn't want to hurt his feelings. I want to say something to my ex but I don't want to start drama. What's the move here? I told my daughter she can always tell me if something makes her uncomfortable but I'm worried about how to handle the adult side of this.

6 comments151 views

Comments(6)

RRyan M.New Dad3d ago

That's uncomfortable for your kid for sure. The stepdad probably means well but he needs to understand he can't force a relationship. Let your daughter know she's got control over what she does and doesn't want to do. Make sure she feels safe saying no.

DDanielRegular3d ago

This is a tough situation because you don't want to poison your kid against the stepdad but you also need to protect her boundaries. I'd maybe talk to your ex separately first without making it accusatory. Sometimes new partners just don't understand where the line is and backing off a bit helps everyone.

JJoeRegular4d ago

My daughter went through something similar and it was actually helpful to have a calm conversation with the stepdad about it. Turned out he was just trying too hard to bond and didn't realize it was coming across as pushy. Once we cleared the air he gave her more space and they developed a better relationship naturally.

SSteveRegular4d ago

I've been dealing with similar stuff with my oldest. Sometimes these guys come in too hot trying to prove they're the cool stepparent. Did you talk to your daughter's mom about pumping the brakes a bit?

DDanny L.Regular4d ago

Boundaries are everything in co-parenting situations. She's uncomfortable and that matters more than his good intentions. Might be worth a calm conversation about giving her space to adjust at her own pace.

DDanny L.Regular4d ago

This is tough man. How old is your daughter? The key thing here is making sure her voice gets heard. She's gotta know it's okay to tell you if something feels off, no matter how well-meaning the guy is.