Struggling with guilt about new relationship and how it affects custody

RyanRegular

Jun 211 min read

I've been dating someone for 6 months and she's wonderful with my kids when they're around. My ex has been hinting that she might challenge custody if I keep the relationship going, saying I'm prioritizing my love life over the kids. That's not true at all. My kids still have their own rooms at my place, we follow the schedule, nothing has changed except I'm happier. But now I'm paranoid that everything I do is being watched. Is this a legitimate threat or is she just trying to manipulate me? Anyone been through a custody challenge over a new partner?

6 comments194 views

Comments(6)

CChris T.RegularJun 23

Your ex is using guilt as a weapon. Don't let her. You deserve happiness and so do your kids. If this woman treats them well, that's all that matters. The rest is her stuff to work through.

MMikeRegularJun 23

This is tough territory. The key is making sure the kids know their mom and your new relationship aren't competing for your love. They're separate things. As long as you're showing up for your kids, you're doing it right.

JJosh M.RegularJun 23

That guilt is real but here's the thing: your kids seeing you happy and in a healthy relationship is actually good for them. Your ex might be adjusting too, give her time. Just keep being present when they're with you.

KKyle M.RegularJun 22

The guilt is natural but here's the thing - your kids seeing you happy and in a healthy relationship is actually good for them. As long as she's genuinely good to them and you're not neglecting their other parent's time, you're fine.

BBradRegularJun 22

Don't let the guilt eat you up. You deserve to be happy too, and if your girlfriend is good with the kids that's actually a win. Just communicate with your ex about what's happening and stay consistent with the kids.

AAdam R.RegularJun 23

Six months in is still early. Keep the boundaries clear - she's your partner, not their replacement parent. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. They'll know if things are authentic.