Struggling with guilt during my weeks with the kids | DadHQ

Struggling with guilt during my weeks with the kids

Jul 311 min read

Got 50/50 custody and when the kids are with me I'm always second guessing myself. Am I being too strict? Should I let them call mom more often? I try to make our time special but honestly some nights I'm exhausted and just want to throw on a movie. Their mom seems to have it all figured out and the kids come back talking about all the cool stuff they did. Feeling like I'm failing at this every other week.

6 comments136 views

Comments(6)

DDavid R.RegularAug 1

I've been there. One thing that helped was talking to a therapist about it. Not because anything was wrong but just to process the guilt and figure out what was actually a problem vs what was just anxiety.

DDavid R.RegularAug 1

Oh man, I feel this in my soul. 50/50 custody and every time I've got them I'm wondering if I'm doing it right. Second guess myself constantly. The guilt is real even when you're doing everything right. You're not alone in this.

AAlex R.New DadAug 1

The fact that you're worried about it means you're probably doing better than you think. Kids with co-parenting parents who actually care about getting it right turn out fine. What specifically are you second guessing? Maybe talk it through.

TToddRegularJul 31

The guilt is real but here's the thing - second guessing yourself means you care. The fact that you're even worried about being too strict or not strict enough tells me you're doing fine. Trust yourself more.

JJoshuaExperiencedAug 1

That guilt is the parenting trap. You're doing the work, you're showing up, you're thinking about their needs. That's not being too strict or too lenient, that's being present. Try to give yourself some credit there.

SSteveRegularAug 1

50/50 is an adjustment. What helped me was realizing that different parenting styles during different weeks isn't bad - it's just different. Your ex probably parents differently too and the kids adapt.