Stupid question: Can I enforce the custody schedule if my kid refuses to go to the other parent? | DadHQ

Stupid question: Can I enforce the custody schedule if my kid refuses to go to the other parent?

Dec 201 min read

My 14yo has decided she "doesn't want to go to dad's" this weekend and my ex is just... letting her stay. Says I can't force a teenager. But we have a legal custody order. Do I have any actual recourse here or is this one of those things where if they're old enough to have opinions I just have to accept it? This is so frustrating because I was planning the whole weekend around having her.

5 comments119 views

Comments(5)

NNeil C.New DadDec 21

Not a stupid question at all. Courts won't drag a 14yo there by force but they WILL address it if your ex is violating the order. Document it happening and talk to a family lawyer about your specific state's rules

FFritz N.RegularDec 21

At 14 she has more say legally depending on your state, but the custody order is still valid. You can't physically force her but you CAN enforce it through the legal system. Have a conversation with your lawyer about whether filing contempt is worth it here or if there's mediation

RRick H.RegularDec 22

The real issue is whether her mom is refusing to enforce it or if your daughter genuinely has autonomy here. Those are legally different. If your ex is just giving in, that's contempt. If your 14yo is exercising her voice, that's a different conversation with her

JJames H.RegularDec 23

Have you asked your kid WHY she doesn't want to go? Because at 14 there's usually something specific - could be as simple as friend plans or something bigger. Might be worth talking to her first before lawyering up

CChad R.RegularDec 23

This sucks and there's no easy answer. But 'letting her stay' vs actively supporting her choice are different things. If your ex is just avoiding conflict that's one conversation, if she's undermining you that's another. What's actually happening on her end?