Been about a month now and it's WORKING. We started letting him pack his own small backpack the night before so he feels more in control of the swap. Also I started picking him up 15 mins early from school instead of right at 3pm so it's less abrupt. No more meltdowns in the car. Sharing because I know how brutal those transition tantrums can be.
This is actually nice to see on this sub. A lot of co-parenting posts are just venting about what the other parent does wrong, but you two actually found something that works. How's he been at the other transition point?
A month is solid proof this is working. That's past the honeymoon phase where he's just trying it out. He's actually settling into it. Nice work.
This is actually genius. He's not just moving between houses, he's actively participating in the transition. That's huge for feeling control in a situation he can't control.
This is the kind of post we need more of in the co-parenting space. Actual solutions instead of just venting about how hard it is. Nice work.
The packing his own backpack thing is genius actually. Gives him autonomy over something he controls and probably reduces anxiety about the swap. That's not complicated but it's smart parenting.
The 15 mins early thing is subtle but smart. Gives him a little extra buffer time instead of just yanking him out of whatever he's doing. Was this something you coordinated with your ex or just doing on your end?
Bro the backpack idea is so simple but it works because kids that age just need some sense of agency. Packing his own stuff = he's not being taken anywhere, he's going somewhere.
did he pick what goes in the backpack or does he just pack whatever he wants? asking because my 6yo would probably bring 47 action figures and get upset when they're not there next time
A MONTH of consistency on transition days? That's a win. How much difference are we talking—like he's just quieter or actually no acting out at all?
15 mins early is such a small change but I bet it made a huge difference. You're basically giving him a little buffer instead of cramming everything into the exact handoff moment.
The backpack thing is huge because transition days are ROUGH on little kids. Their nervous system is literally dysregulated. Giving him something concrete to manage probably helped his brain feel safer about the whole thing.
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Did his mom pick up on what you were doing and implement anything similar on her end, or is it just the early pickup that shifted things?