Successfully navigated introducing new partner to the kids - here's what worked for us

Dec 21 min read

After a lot of research and honestly therapy-recommended steps, I introduced my girlfriend to my boys (ages 7 and 9) last month. Here's what I did:

Waited 7-8 months
Kept first meetings casual (sports practice, not a formal dinner)
Didn't push anything
Let them get used to her gradually over a few hangouts
She didn't try to be their parent or compete with their mom

It's been smooth. No drama with my ex. Kids like her. They call it "dad's friend" still and that's cool. Everyone moves at their own pace but this framework actually worked instead of my original "move fast and hope for the best" plan lol

10 comments396 views

Comments(10)

AAl G.Regularjust now

This is solid stuff. The not pushing anything is key - kids can feel when adults are trying to force a connection. Letting it develop naturally is the way. How are things going now?

AAndy S.Regularjust now

Casual meetings (sports practice not formal dinner) is honestly genius. Takes the pressure off everyone. Nobody's trying to make it a THING, it just naturally happens. Kids are way less defensive that way.

DDrew H.Regular1d ago

The therapy-recommended steps part is the thing most people skip and regret. Glad you did the work here. Did your ex have input or was this just your decision?

RRuben A.New Dadjust now

Did you talk to the boys beforehand about meeting her or did you keep it pretty casual going in? Curious about the communication strategy.

BBen H.Regularjust now

Did you talk to your ex about introducing the girlfriend? Or did she just find out it happened? Curious how you handled that part because that seems like it could go sideways fast if you're not careful.

TTravis N.Regularjust now

This is the post that needed to happen. Too many dads just dive in with new partners and then act surprised when their kids are weird about it. The research + therapy approach is real. Respect.

KKarl J.Regularjust now

The 7-8 month wait is solid advice. It's long enough that it's not just 'the new person' but not so long that the kids are getting weird about why they haven't met her.

EEd P.Regularjust now

The 7-8 month wait is way more thoughtful than a lot of people do. Most dads I know were introducing new partners like month 2-3 and wondering why the kids were weird about it. You did this right.

TTom R.Regularjust now

This is really thoughtful. The 'not pushing anything' and letting it happen gradually is the key thing most people miss. They want it to be Like a Family immediately and that just creates pressure.

CCharlie A.New Dad2h ago

How are things a month in? Like are they still getting used to her or has it leveled out to a comfortable place?