Teaching kids to recognize when mom and I parent differently - good idea or bad idea? | DadHQ

Forums Co-ParentingTeaching kids to recognize when mom and I parent differently - good idea or bad idea?

Teaching kids to recognize when mom and I parent differently - good idea or bad idea?

Jan 14·1 min read

My ex is way more strict than I am. Like, she has a 7pm bedtime on school nights and I do 8pm. She doesn't let them have screens on weekdays and I let them wind down with 30 min of youtube. My kids have started asking me why I'm "more fun" and my ex is "mean." I want to validate that different houses can have different rules without making it sound like one parent is wrong? Or should I just not address it and let them figure it out?

4 comments415 views

Comments(4)

TThomas H.RegularJan 14

My approach was to make it a game almost. Like 'Mom's house has different rules than Dad's house, just like your friend's house probably does too.' Kids are way more flexible about this stuff than we think they are.

RRon D.RegularJan 16

The 7pm vs 8pm difference is actually pretty minor in the grand scheme. Where it gets tricky is if one parent is undermining the other's rules to the kids. That's the conversation to have with your ex.

MMichaelRegularJan 17

I think it's smart to at least acknowledge it exists. My kids used to play us against each other until we had a real conversation about the bedtime thing. Now they know the rule changes houses and that's just how it is. Saved us a lot of headaches.

AArchie M.RegularJan 14

Honest question - is the bedtime difference actually affecting anything or are you just noticing it exists? Sometimes we worry about stuff the kids don't even register as weird.