The Tuesday morning transition is killing us

Dec 71 min read

Our schedule has the kids switch on Tuesday mornings before school. Sounds simple except Tuesday mornings are CHAOS. One week I'm doing breakfast/packing/getting to mom's house on time. Next week she's doing it. But whoever's not doing it that week is apparently responsible for... something? And things get forgotten.

We've switched it three times trying to find a pattern that works. Thinking about asking if we can do Tuesday afternoon instead but I'm worried she'll shoot it down because "it affects her work schedule."

Anyone do mid-week swaps that actually work?

11 comments88 views

Comments(11)

AAndy S.RegularDec 7

we had this exact problem and honestly the only solution was making a DETAILED checklist that both parents follow identically. sounds annoying but when it's the same steps every tuesday the chaos reduced by like 70%

TTom R.RegularDec 8

what specific part is chaos? the actual handoff or getting YOUR kids ready that morning? because the solution is probably different depending on which one is the bottleneck

DDale J.RegularDec 8

tuesday morning transitions are legitimately the worst scheduled event in parenting. it's packed with too many variables - sleep schedules were different all weekend, backpacks, permission slips, getting out the door on time. i moved ours to monday evening instead and it helped SO much

AArchie K.RegularDec 10

honestly the real answer is that some chaos on transition mornings is just baked in. kids don't love switching houses. the fact that it's ONLY tuesday mornings going nuts means your system is working way better than most

TTravis N.RegularDec 8

tuesday mornings BEFORE SCHOOL is genuinely the worst transition time possible. have you guys considered switching to wednesday after school or something? Tuesday chaos is built-in because of school timing + transition happening at the worst point

KKent R.RegularDec 9

could you swap which parent does the school drop-off that week? like one parent always does breakfast/packing and the other always does the actual drive to school. less roles to juggle

FFritz N.RegularDec 9

tuesday morning transitions are ROUGH because you're splitting routine responsibility mid-week. one parent gets the smooth monday flow, other parent dealing with tired kids on wednesday. the asymmetry is killing you both

GGreg M.RegularDec 10

we solved this by having the receiving parent do pickup/dropoff the tuesday before so they're already in that parent's routine. might not work for your setup but worth thinking about

FFrank D.RegularDec 10

this needs to be a conversation where you're not trying to change the schedule but to standardize the routine. she probably feels as chaotic as you do on her week. make a procedure and stick to it - both of you, every week

JJames H.RegularDec 10

the fact that WHICH week you do breakfast/packing is the issue tells me you need to standardize it. like - same parent ALWAYS does breakfast regardless of whose house, same parent always does packing. takes the decision-making out of it

RRon D.New DadDec 9

lol this is the thing nobody warns you about co-parenting - the alternating responsibilities are way harder than 50/50 custody. you're basically doing the job twice with different rules. is she open to always doing the same tasks on tuesday?