Thinking about moving for work - custody complications

Jan 121 min read

Got offered a job in Austin, I'm currently in Denver. 50/50 custody with my two kids (8 and 11). Salary increase is huge - like 40% more - but it would mean uprooting the kids and her probably fighting me on custody.

My lawyer says I'd need her permission or a court order. She already told me "absolutely not." This isn't about being difficult, she's got her whole family here and neither of us moved away from this area lightly.

But like... I have to think about my career too? I can't just sacrifice everything. But I also don't want to be "that dad" who moved away for money.

Anyone navigated this? What were the real consequences?

5 comments349 views

Comments(5)

SSteve C.RegularJan 13

This one's tough because you'd need the other parent to agree to custody changes or to move too. Austin job might not be worth what you'd lose in court if this gets messy.

MMatt W.RegularJan 14

The custody part is gonna complicate this way more than the job offer. You need legal advice before you even tell them you're interested.

RRyanRegularJan 14

Austin market is hot right now salary wise, I get the appeal. But moving 17 hours away from your 50/50 custody is gonna be rough legally. Have you talked to a family law attorney yet about what that actually looks like?

KKevinRegularJan 14

Honestly ask yourself if the salary bump is worth seeing your kids every other week instead of every other day. For me it wasn't but everyone's situation is different.

CCarl L.RegularJan 15

Could you do remote and visit Denver every other weekend? That might be the compromise that keeps everyone happy. A lot of companies are doing that now especially in finance adjacent roles.

to join the conversation.