Idk why but every Sunday when I drop my kids off is brutal. My 7yo gets quiet and withdrawn, my 4yo cries. Ex says they settle down after 20 mins. I believe her but man, those goodbyes wreck me. And then I have this empty house and no kids for 5 days and it's weird. Anyone else find Sundays hardest? How do you cope with the emotional whiplash?
Real talk: the fact that they settle down after 20 mins is actually a good sign even though it sucks to witness. They're upset about the transition, not about being with you. Doesn't make those goodbyes easier though.
Have you thought about doing something special after drop-offs to shift the energy? Like Sunday brunch with a friend or a project you love? Turning it from "empty house" into "my time" might help.
Those 5 days without them must feel disorienting. Have you tried scheduling something those days - like a project with a friend or a hobby - instead of just being in the empty house? Not to distract from the kids thing but to keep yourself grounded.
Sunday transitions are the absolute worst. My 6yo gets this glazed look when I drop him off and it takes me like 3 hours to function after. The empty house thing is weird too - should feel relaxing but it just feels lonely.
The empty house part is the killer for me too. I try to plan something - even just staying busy with a project - because otherwise I just sit there thinking about them. My therapist said staying in that sad headspace doesn't help them, they can feel the dread. So now I text their mom a little update Sunday night, feel connected that way, and then try to actually use my time.
Every single Sunday. Your ex settling them down thing is real though - doesn't make you a bad parent for it wrecking you. They cry for like 10 mins after I leave and I sit in my car some days.
The quiet/withdrawn thing from your 7yo is them processing the transition. They're not mad at you, they're just adjusting. But yeah those goodbyes are brutal to watch. I feel this in my bones.
My 4yo cries every time too even though he's fine once we get there. I used to stay and comfort him but realized that made it worse. Now I do a quick bye, don't drag it out, and I'm gone. He forgets about me in 10 mins (ouch) but at least the goodbye itself isn't worse.
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Sundays hit different when you're the one dropping them off. It's the hardest transition. Your 7yo getting quiet is normal though - that's him processing the change. The fact that you care this much tells me they know they're loved. The 5 days alone thing is rough but also... you gotta find a way to not hate it? Not saying party mode, but maybe that's your time to recharge so you're 100% present with them when they're back.
Those goodbyes are rough but the fact that they settle in 20 mins is actually good - means they're safe and secure there. I know that doesn't make Sunday less brutal. Have you thought about making the drop-off less of a goodbye and more of a "see you in 5 days, we'll do X when you get back"? Gives them something to look forward to past the transition sadness.