Every time my boys (9 and 11) come back from their mom's, the first 2 hours are chaos. Attitude problems, acting out, not listening. I think they're adjusting to different rules/expectations. Does anyone else deal with this? How long does it usually take them to settle in?
Stop expecting them to transition smoothly. Give them the first hour to be weird and chaotic with zero corrections. Then once they've settled, normal rules apply. Treats them like they've had a rough day, which they have.
That first 2 hours is them decompressing and testing YOUR boundaries after living under different rules. It sucks but it's actually normal. The chaos means they're comfortable being their full selves with you.
Have you talked to their mom about what the rule differences actually are? Like if you're strict about screens and she's not, them coming back wired on that is predictable. Might not be fixable but at least you'd understand it.
Low expectations first hour = no conflict. Just have snacks ready, maybe suggest they go ride bikes or something physical. They'll burn off the energy and reset way faster than if you try to enforce normal stuff right away.
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9 and 11 are old enough to articulate what's bugging them if you ask when they're NOT in chaos mode. Maybe next time ask them on like hour 3 what they need to settle down. Food? Exercise? Quiet time?