Transition days are still hard for my oldest | DadHQ

Transition days are still hard for my oldest

Nov 211 min read

We're 2 years into the split and my 16yo still gets grumpy/withdrawn on the day he switches houses. Doesn't matter which direction - he comes to me sullen, stays that way for a few hours, then loosens up. Goes to his mom's place, same thing. I haven't mentioned it because I don't want to make it weirder but I'm wondering if other teenagers do this? Or if there's something I'm missing about his emotional state. He says he's fine when I ask directly so I'm not super concerned but it's noticeable.

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Comments(5)

MMarcus J.Regular1d ago

Don't mention it directly but maybe mention it to his mom? Like a casual 'hey I've noticed he takes a few hours to adjust on transition days, wondering if you see the same thing' - then you're not calling him out but you're both aware and can be gentler about it.

OOliver Q.Regular1h ago

My oldest (14) does the same thing. The pattern I noticed is he acts withdrawn until something breaks the ice - like watching a show together or working on a car project. After that he's fine. Maybe find an activity that gets him engaged on arrival day?

BBenny R.Regular2h ago

Honestly at 16 this could just be... being 16. Is the moodiness ONLY on transition days or is he generally sullen? Because that changes how you approach it.

EEli L.Regularjust now

That's pretty normal at 16 honestly. Transition days are legitimately hard for teens - they're old enough to feel the split acutely but still adjusting. The fact that he loosens up after a few hours is actually a good sign? Means he's not completely withdrawn.

DDale A.Regular23h ago

2 years in and STILL grumpy? I'd probably bring it up gently. Not in a 'what's wrong with you' way but like 'I noticed transitions are rough, how can I make it easier on you?' He might have stuff he wants to talk about or needs (certain food, time alone, whatever).