Venting: court ordered mediation didn't help AT ALL

Nov 301 min read

Just got back from our mandatory mediation session about the custody adjustment we've been fighting over. Spent $800 for a mediator to basically say "try harder to communicate" while my ex sat there being unreasonable about holiday scheduling. Felt like paying money to be told the obvious. Has anyone had a mediator actually resolve anything or is it just a box you check before going back to court?

7 comments411 views

Comments(7)

GGrant C.Regular22h ago

Court-ordered mediation being useless is super frustrating but honestly sometimes you need it documented that you tried before you go back to the judge. At least now you have that on record for when you end up in actual court.

HHugh S.Regularjust now

Mediation is often pointless if one party isn't actually willing to negotiate. And $800 to hear "try harder" is especially rough. What's your actual legal path forward if she won't move on the custody stuff?

MMike F.Regularjust now

This sucks and I'm sorry. Mediation only works if both people want to find common ground. If your ex is just being difficult, mediator can't fix that. Document that the mediation failed, keep trying to be reasonable, and get ready to let the court decide.

MMarcus W.Regular1d ago

The "try harder to communicate" thing is such a cop-out answer from a mediator. Like, you obviously want to communicate or you wouldn't be there. What did your mediator actually suggest specifically about the holiday issue?

TTim B.Regularjust now

Mediation sucks when one person isn't actually trying. That $800 felt wasted because she wasn't negotiating in good faith. Did your mediator call that out or just kind of let it slide?

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TTom P.Regularjust now

That's rough and expensive and frustrating. Mediator was probably just being cautious because one side wasn't meeting in the middle. If she's truly being unreasonable about reasonable stuff (holiday scheduling), your lawyer might need to get more involved. Sorry you're dealing with this.

CChris P.Regularjust now

Mediation works great when both people actually want to compromise. When one person just digs in? Total waste of time and money. Sounds like you need to figure out if legal action is next or if there's another angle.