My kids told me that mom lets them stay up until 11pm on school nights at her place. I have a 9pm bedtime at mine and it's killing me because they're exhausted when they come back. I brought it up and she said I'm being controlling. How do you guys handle when the other parent has completely different rules? Do you just accept that they live by different standards or does this bother anyone else?
Have you talked to your ex about it as a coparenting thing rather than like an attack on her? Like framing it as "kids do better in school when they're consistent" instead of "you're wrong." Might go better.
This is the kind of thing that makes co-parenting so frustrating. 11pm on school nights is objectively messing with your kids' sleep. Have you talked to her directly about the impact or is that a losing battle?
This is tough man. I deal with the same thing on my custody weekends. You gotta stay consistent with your rules even if hers are different - the kids need that structure from you.
Yeah, different houses different rules is rough but it's reality with co-parenting three kids. Just keep your 9pm and explain it's about what works best when they're at your place.
I've been there with the lunch volunteering and seeing how different kids operate. Can't control what mom does, but your boundaries matter. Stick with it.
That's rough. I'd calmly tell her the bedtime inconsistency is affecting their school performance and concentration. Frame it as what's best for the kids, not you trying to control her. Sometimes that approach works better.
Yeah this one's tough because bedtimes are actually important for school performance but you can't control what happens at her place. I'd focus on keeping your 9pm rule solid at your house and don't stress about hers.
This is rough but honestly you gotta let it go a little bit. Different houses, different rules. As long as she's not doing anything dangerous you're kind of stuck with it unless you want to fight every pickup.
Different households are going to have different rules, that's just how it is with custody splits. The key is making sure your rules at your place are rock solid and consistent.
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Document when they're tired at your place and how it affects their day. If you ever need to go back to court about custody modifications, that stuff matters. Don't let it slide.