My son's elementary school has both our numbers on file but every single time something happens—illness, behavioral thing, whatever—they call his mom first. I'm the primary contact on the emergency form at my address. Is this normal? Am I being petty for being annoyed about this? Feels like I have to work twice as hard to even know what's happening with my own kid.
This would bug me too because it sends a message that one parent is the 'primary' when that's not how modern families work. Def address it directly with the school office.
My kid's old school did this and when I asked about it the secretary was like oh we just call the contact person listed first and I'm apparently second. Took one email to fix it. Might be that simple for you.
Have you talked to the school about this? Sometimes it's just a default thing in their system. Might be worth an email saying please reach out to both parents for future issues. Don't assume they're doing it on purpose.
Honestly call the school and ask why this is happening. Don't be accusatory just ask. They might not realize they're defaulting to one parent. If they blow you off then you have a real problem.
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This happens to us too and it's frustrating as hell. I started calling the school myself when I found out second-hand and they seemed confused why the mom called first. Sometimes you gotta flip the script.