Things I never thought I'd say before becoming a dad

15h ago·1 min read

Yesterday I found myself saying 'Please stop licking the couch' and earlier this week I had to explain why we don't eat dirt. Also told my son that his dinosaur and his action figure cannot get married because they're made of different materials. I sound completely insane but also this is my life now. What's the weirdest thing you've had to say to your kids?

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Comments(3)

MMasonNew Dadjust now

I told my daughter 'we don't put our finger in our sister's ear' and my wife just looked at me like what timeline are we living in. Parenting definitely introduces you to sentences that have never been said out loud before in human history.

PPaul M.New Dadjust now

This thread is gold. I've said 'please stop licking things' more times than I ever expected in my life. Also my personal favorite was having to explain to my 5yo why he can't give his goldfish a bubble bath with actual soap.

JJasonRegular10h ago

The couch licking thing is incredible and also I'm never letting my kids forget that this is a sentence adults have to say. I found myself telling my son 'please stop eating dirt' last week and it's just one of those moments where you realize parenting is basically surreal.