My kid asked why I was reading instructions
I told him I wanted to know what I was doing wrong. He said 'Dad, you don't need instructions for that.'
MMatt W.1360 views
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Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
955 threads
I told him I wanted to know what I was doing wrong. He said 'Dad, you don't need instructions for that.'
I told her that's a dad joke. She groaned. Mission accomplished.
Yelled 'That's what I'm talking about!' when the other team scored. My wife just shook her head. Apparently that's not how this works.
New Balance shoes, khaki shorts, and a polo shirt with a mysterious stain I can't explain. I didn't plan this. It just happened. Now I understand why my dad dressed like this.
Told her a dad joke forum post made me laugh. She said 'oh so you're reading about yourself.' I walked right into that one. But also she's not wrong lol.
A pop! My 4yo came up with this one and I've never been more proud. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Got cocky this morning and said out loud 'we haven't had a major blowout in like 3 weeks.' Jinxed it so hard. Poop literally up to the baby's neck. It was on her, me, the changing
Because it felt crumbly! My kids groaned so hard they left the room. Mission accomplished.
Caught myself saying to my son 'money doesn't grow on trees' and 'we'll see' when he asks for stuff and honestly I sounded just like my dad 20 years ago. Then I laughed at my own j
My kid said he was cold so I told him to go stand in the corner, they're usually 90 degrees. The look on his face was priceless. He's 8 so he actually thought about it for like 3 s
My 6 year old asked why eggs are funny and I said because they crack jokes. He did not find it as hilarious as I did but my wife laughed so that's basically a win.
We were at Target and my son had what I can only describe as a nuclear blowout in the cart. My wife was like are you kidding me right now. I had to pick him up and we basically had
To get his celery! Get it... celery... salary? Told this one to my kids at breakfast and got the groans I deserved. Worth it though.
Can't put it down. My teenagers physically cringed when I said this at dinner. Mission accomplished.
Put my son to bed last night and told him sleep is just a trial for death. Wife shot me a look and told me to get out of the room. I said okay I'm leaving, don't want to be around
My 4 year old asked me why the bananas were in bunches. I told him they needed to stick together because they were in a bunch of trouble. Wife gave me a look that could kill but he
I told him I was looking for a little thyme. He didn't get it but I'll be laughing about that one for weeks.
My 6yo daughter was upset about something and this lady asked her why she was crying. She said, "My dad keeps telling me about how expensive cereal is." I literally never complaine
I've become the exact person who thinks it's funny to wear socks with sandals. My teenage sons are absolutely horrified. I'm leaning into it now because clearly I've already failed
So I took it out to dinner and a movie. She was not amused. Kids thought it was hilarious though so I call that a win.