My Kid Got Me Good Today
I asked my 7 year old why he was reading the dictionary. He said he wanted to improve his vocabulary. I told him it was a good idea because his current words weren't very descripti
NNick G.12 views
13
Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
80 threads
I asked my 7 year old why he was reading the dictionary. He said he wanted to improve his vocabulary. I told him it was a good idea because his current words weren't very descripti
My 5 year old asked me what I was doing standing in the kitchen. I said 'Looks like I'm standing in the kitchen.' She said 'No Dad, what are you DOING.' I said 'Well right now I'm
So we're at the grocery store and I grab a bag of lettuce. I turn to my son and say 'Lettuce have a good time at the store!' The look he gave me man. It was like disappointment, se
He heard someone had stolen a base! I've been using this one for like three weeks and my kids are so tired of it. My oldest literally covers his ears now when I start talking. But
This morning I laughed at my own joke so hard I snorted my coffee out my nose while my kids groaned. I asked my 7-year-old if he wanted to hear a construction joke and he said 'I'm
Started putting terrible puns in my kids' lunch boxes to embarrass them. Now the oldest one is making puns back at me and I don't know how to feel about it. On one hand I'm proud.
My 4-year-old pointed at the rotisserie chickens and asked 'why are those chickens in the oven?' I told him they're practicing for their audition on Hell's Kitchen. My wife did not
I said, 'Because your mom laughs at all my good ones.' He just stared at me and walked away. I think I'm winning at this parenting thing.
Because he was outstanding in his field. My wife told me to stop, but I'm convinced the kids actually laughed a little bit before they remembered they're supposed to hate my jokes.
My 6yo asked me very seriously if penguins have knees. I had to excuse myself to the kitchen so he wouldn't see me losing it. He was genuinely concerned about penguin mobility. Cam
My daughter asked me why I was getting so many grey hairs. I said it's because she and her brother stress me out. She looked at me dead serious and said "well maybe you should stop
My son knocked over his drink during dinner and I caught it mid air before it spilled everywhere. I've never felt more like a superhero in my entire life. He just looked at me like
I told my son I had the perfect chemistry joke for him but I knew it wouldn't get a reaction. He groaned so hard and said that was terrible dad. Victory.
Nothing, it just waved. My kids groaned so hard when I told them this one at dinner. Mission accomplished.
I spend 8 hours a day at work to get away from my kids and then come home and complain that I don't see them enough. Anyone else doing this? It's like the world's dumbest paradox a
So I'm at the grocery store yesterday and I see this sign that says 'Caution: Wet Floor' and without even thinking I yell 'Thanks for the heads up!' My kid literally walked away fr
Just caught myself doing it. I walked into the kitchen and just was like 'HELLO' for no reason. My family stares at me like I'm insane. Is this a dad thing or am I just losing it a
I caught myself buying cargo shorts yesterday. Multiple pockets. Tactical everything. I'm becoming my father and I'm only 38. Soon I'll be tucking my t-shirt into them and complain
I told him 'It's a job requirement' and he was like 'No it's not.' Then I said 'Exactly, that's why I'm not getting paid.' He walked away shaking his head. I think I won that excha
Because he was outstanding in his field! I told this one to my 6yo at breakfast and she groaned so hard I thought she'd hurt herself. Mission accomplished.