Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
880 threads
A joke has a punchline. Just kidding, I actually love this life. But seriously my kids asked me to stop making parent jokes and I said fine but then I said that's a hard pass becau
I was in Target grabbing diapers and my 4 year old sees all the different brands and goes 'Dad why are there so many butts?' I literally had to leave and come back later because I
Nothing beats that sound of your kid's combined groan when you hit them with a good dad joke. Like today my 10 year old asked what time it was and I said 'time to get a watch' and
I told him I'm just trying to raise the bar. He groaned so hard. Mission accomplished.
I told him I wanted to make sure I did fatherhood right. He said 'Dad, you've been winging it for 8 years.' I can't argue with that logic.
He was showing his buddies my old high school photo and I walked in. One kid goes 'Whoa you used to have hair!' and my son just says 'Yeah, it ran away because of the bad jokes.' I
My 5 year old pointed at the condoms and asked loudly 'Dad what are those for?' I said 'Uh, protecting things' and he goes 'Like how you protect your phone?' The lady behind us los
They're selling discount cards to local restaurants. My daughter asked if I wanted to buy one. I said 'Maybe, what restaurants are on it?' She goes 'There's a Olive Garden.' I got
Because he wanted to cover his bases. I absolutely destroyed my kids with this one at breakfast this morning. My 6 year old groaned SO hard.
I casually mentioned his digital watch was running 5 minutes ahead. Asked why he thought I'd lie about something like that. He asked if I was sure. I said 'Would I dad to you?' He
Wife made tacos for dinner. I looked at my 8yo and said 'you know what they call a fake taco in Mexico?' He fell for it. 'What?' I said 'a SHELL game.' My daughter groaned so loud
I told him it's genetic. He said that's not how genetics work. I said exactly, now you're understanding my sense of humor.
My son was pretending to be me at breakfast, sitting with terrible posture, drinking coffee and saying 'well actually' before every sentence to his action figures. Then he stood up
Took my 4 year old to the store and she asked why the bananas were yellow. I said "because they haven't seen us yet, once they do they'll turn brown from the fear." She believed me
I said "food" and she literally stared at me for 30 seconds like I had three heads. Apparently that's not a valid answer anymore. When did I become the enemy?
My son said he was cold so I said "go stand in the corner, it's 90 degrees." He didn't laugh. My wife laughed though so that counts as a win in my book. The fact that he groaned me
He goes, 'Dad why did the cookie go to the doctor?' I say 'I don't know buddy why?' He says 'Because it felt crumbly!' I absolutely lost it and he was so proud of himself. He's bee
A Dad joke.
Used to just grab whatever ice cream looked good. Now I stand there for 5 minutes because my daughter wants the one that 'matches her backpack' and my son needs to make sure we hav
He was completely serious the whole time. Building this crazy tower situation. I asked him what it was and he goes 'Dad this is a Lego-tomy clinic.' I stared at him for a full 10 s