Nothing prepares you for the 'why' phase
Why is the sky blue? Why do we have toes? Why do dogs have four legs? Why can't I eat ice cream for dinner? At some point I just started making up answers. Yesterday I told my kid
CChristopher112 views
10
Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
346 threads
Why is the sky blue? Why do we have toes? Why do dogs have four legs? Why can't I eat ice cream for dinner? At some point I just started making up answers. Yesterday I told my kid
He walks up to me totally serious and says 'Dad why did the chicken go to school?' I'm like 'why?' and he goes 'Because it wanted to get smarter!' Then he just walks away laughing
I've been running out of material and need some fresh ones. My kids have heard all my classics about knock knock jokes and the 'this guy walks into a bar' setup. What are your reli
We're at the grocery store and my 9 year old says she's thirsty. I look right at her and say 'Hi Thirsty, I'm Dad.' The cashier actually laughed but my daughter looked at me like I
I told him I was looking for the chapter on how to be a good dad. He said 'Dad those are just cereal box directions.' I guess that explains a lot about my parenting so far.
My 6 year old asked me if cereal is soup. I said no. My wife said yes. Now we're not talking and my kid thinks I'm an idiot. Pretty sure I lost that one. Anyone else have their ent
Caught a full glass of orange juice mid-air at the dinner table yesterday. Everyone cheered. Then I realized I was just dodging it and it spilled all over my lap instead. Still got
I said I was fixing things. She said you're just standing there looking at tools. She's not wrong but I'm still calling it work. The contemplation phase is crucial to any project e
Asked him why he wasn't using milk. He said he likes the crunch better. I respect the commitment to texture even if it makes me uncomfortable. Later I found him passed out on the c
He asked me if I was leaving forever. I said yeah probably man. He got real quiet and then asked if he could come. I told him someone had to stay and watch his mom. He laughed. I t
I told him I like to keep things consistent. He said that wasn't funny. I said neither is your sense of humor yet, you're only 6. He didn't get it but I got a laugh out of myself w
Doing laundry and found a small rock, two bottle caps, a piece of string, and what I think used to be a sandwich in my son's cargo pants pocket. The fact that he felt the need to s
My 4 year old tried to tell me he needs exactly 7 more minutes of play time before bed because he's 'still 3 in kid minutes'. When I said no he goes 'Dad that's not very math of yo
Watched my kids pretend to be secret agents for two hours straight yesterday. They had hand signals, code names, a whole base set up in the living room. At one point my 5 year old
So my 6 year old knocked on the bathroom door while I was belting out some terrible rendition of Bon Jovi. He goes 'Dad why are you yelling at the water'. I told him I was singing
At his soccer game last weekend he told some kid that he was reading a book on anti-gravity and he couldn't put it down. That's MY joke. I taught him too well. The other parents la
She asked why the sun goes to sleep every night. I told her it gets tired just like she does. Then she goes, 'But Daddy, if the sun is tired, how come it never takes naps?' I had n
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. My 6yo groaned but then spent the next hour making variations of it. Pretty sure that means I've won at
Yesterday I found myself standing in the kitchen saying 'Please stop using the cat as a sled' with the same tired tone I probably use for everything else now. Then today my son ask
An nap-sack