What do you call a dad without a sense of humor?
Unemployed. That's what my wife told me when I tried this one on her. I think she was serious.
CCarlos168 views
33
Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
955 threads
Unemployed. That's what my wife told me when I tried this one on her. I think she was serious.
Took my 6 year old to the store yesterday and he points at the rotisserie chickens and goes "Dad why are those chickens just standing there doing nothing?" I told him they're on a
I said because he's been going the distance since day one. He groaned so hard I thought he'd pulled something.
Convinced my kids that the shopping cart beeping when we leave is actually a spy detector that makes sure we paid. They now walk so carefully through those doors. Best parenting ha
I told him because good dads are always outstanding in their field. He groaned so hard I thought he pulled something. Worth it.
So my 4yo asks what all the colorful cereals are made of. I say sugar mostly. He looks at me dead serious and goes 'Dad you said sugar is bad' and I'm like well this is awkward bec
This morning he looks at me and says 'Dad why did the cookie go to the doctor?' I'm like okay buddy why, ready for some nonsense. He goes 'Because it felt crumbly!' and just starts
My daughter's teacher asked me what my hobbies are during parent teacher night and I panicked. Instead of saying normal stuff I told her I collect bad jokes to tell at appropriate
3 year old has entered the question phase and I'm not prepared. Five minutes ago he asked me why the sky is blue. I gave him the whole light wavelength explanation thinking I was b
So I'm at the store with my 6 year old and he's being extra goofy in the produce section. He picks up a watermelon and yells 'Dad look I found a GREEN BALL!' and then drops it. Wat
You ever catch yourself about to tell a joke and realize halfway through it's completely inappropriate for your audience and you just have to commit and hope it lands? Yeah I did t
Tried to do a handstand in front of my kids yesterday to show them how cool I am. Made it about 2 seconds before I face planted into the couch. My 8 year old goes, 'Dad, your stoma
So my kid says to me this morning, 'Dad, why did the cookie go to the doctor?' I say I don't know. He goes, 'Because it felt crumbly!' Then he just loses it laughing like he just t
I told him I'm not reading instructions, I'm reading my autobiography. He didn't get it. I'll explain it to him in like 15 years when he tries to assemble something without the man
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My 5 year old pointed at the candy and said 'Can we get that?' and I said 'Sure, we can get it and leave it here.' His face was priceless. My wife was not amused but I was dying. T
Been working on this joke for weeks. Told my daughter I'm reading a book about anti-gravity and I can't put it down. She stared at me for like 10 seconds then said "That's the dumb
I said because I'd be telling them to the fish and they already heard all my lines. My 8 year old groaned so hard I thought he'd rupture something. 10/10 would embarrass my kids ag
My son pointed at Lucky Charms and said "Dad those marshmallows look magically delicious." I said "No buddy that's the tagline, you gotta come up with your own material." Then he h
I said 'food' and she didn't laugh. Wife said I'm not funny. Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree because neither does my sense of humor apparently.