Dad jokes have ruined me
I literally cannot watch a movie or TV show with my family anymore without making some awful pun or joke at the worst time. Just watched Nemo with my kids and when Dory came on I s
GGabe R.111 views
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Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
955 threads
I literally cannot watch a movie or TV show with my family anymore without making some awful pun or joke at the worst time. Just watched Nemo with my kids and when Dory came on I s
I told him it was because of all the sad birds flying around. He believed me for like 3 whole minutes before calling me a dummy. Pretty sure this is when the dad jokes really start
He didn't react. There was no reaction. I said 'I guess it didn't get a reaction' and he groaned so hard. Mission accomplished.
I said 'It's your mom's favorite number plus 2' and she just stared at me. Asked her mom later and she had no idea what that meant lol. Bad joke execution but honestly I was proud
So the other day my 2yo had the worst blowout in like a month. I mean nuclear level. Got poop on the wall somehow. SOMEHOW. Anyway I told my wife 'Well that's what I call hitting t
I said 'Why did the scarecrow win an award?' and he rolled his eyes before I even said 'Because he was outstanding in his field!' He GROANED. The groan. I heard the same groan my d
Picked up my son and the teacher asked how his day was. I said 'Well, he definitely lived up to his potential.' The teacher raised an eyebrow. I said 'His potential to be a tiny te
I told him he needed to get better grades in math. He looks at me and says 'Dad, you're one to talk, you can't even count to 21 without taking your pants off.' I have no comeback.
Kid asks his dad 'Why do you call me champ so much?' Dad goes 'Because you're my champ!' Kid says 'That's not how names work.' Then his dad looks at all of us watching and just shr
Because it wanted to get a little CRUMBLY! My 4 year old came up with this one and it's so bad it's actually good. Now he keeps making up similar ones and they're all terrible but
I said because I want to do this right. He goes 'dad you never read instructions.' Got me there. Told him I'm starting a new chapter in my life. He said 'yeah the chapter where you
An NAP-parent. My 6 year old came up with that one and I'm simultaneously proud and ashamed.
Not because he scored or anything but because I finally nailed the dad joke in the parking lot after. I said 'well that was a real kick ass performance' and got three groans from o
Wife: can you grab eggs, milk, and bread? Me: sure thing Also me: comes back with chips, salsa, a rotisserie chicken I didn't need, and no eggs She just stares at me. Every single
Can't put it down.
So I bought some escargot instead. My wife did NOT appreciate that one.
My 4 year old is asking the real questions and honestly I don't have good answers. Pretty sure I'm losing the joke war with my own kid.
I said because laughter is the best medicine. He said no Dad, medicine is the best medicine. Then I realized he's probably right but also my jokes are free so jokes it is.
I was at peak comedy for like 10 minutes straight before realizing he was actually just laughing at the dog running into the sliding glass door. But I'll take the W.
He just needed a little space. Used this one on my teenagers and they pretended not to hear me but I caught one of them smiling.