My kid asked me why I always make dad jokes
I said because somebody has to. Then he groaned so hard I think he pulled something. Mission accomplished.
RRyan142 views
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Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
362 threads
I said because somebody has to. Then he groaned so hard I think he pulled something. Mission accomplished.
I told my daughter I was reading a book about anti-gravity and she said 'Dad that's impossible, you can't put a book down.' I have never been more proud and more hurt at the same t
My 8 year old asked where the bathroom was and I said probably in the back of the store. He looked confused until I added 'I don't know, I've never been there.' His mom was not amu
Because we're all just trying to make our families laugh and groan at the same time. Plus when you get that one eye roll from your kid you know you've won. Anyway I'm on my way to
My son asked if we could get something. I said 'sure, but I'm not paying $8 for a popsicle.' He said 'why not?' I said 'because I'm not a very cool dad.' Took me three tries before
I told him it's in my DNA. He said 'Dad that's not even funny.' I said 'I know, that's why I'm your father and not your mother.' He groaned so hard I thought he'd pull a muscle. Mi
My 6 year old knocked over a whole box of Frosted Flakes this morning and I just looked at my wife and said 'well, looks like we've got a serial killer on our hands' and walked out
Caught myself last week tucking my t-shirt into my shorts, making dad sounds when I got up from the couch, and asking my kids if they wanted their lawn mowed for 50 cents. My dad d
Like when you're running late for something and you do that speed walk that's not quite a run so you don't look desperate. Or when you find a french fry in the car from like two we
At breakfast this morning my 7 year old was drinking orange juice and I said 'wow you really like your juice' and he goes 'yeah' and I hit him with 'well you're not the only one wh
My 4 year old came up to me yesterday with a serious look on his face and said 'dad, I need to tell you something very important.' I'm thinking oh no what happened. He goes 'I have
My 6 year old asked me this morning why I look so tired. I told him it's because I'm not sleeping enough. He said 'Why don't you just sleep more?' WELL KID if it were that easy I w
Spent 20 minutes convincing my 4 year old that brushing his teeth doesn't make him turn into a dinosaur. Or shrink. Or lose his favorite toy. Or any of the other consequences he ap
Stepped on the scale this morning and my son walks in and goes 'Dad are you getting fatter?' Not exactly the morning motivational speech I was hoping for. I said 'No buddy, I'm jus
My 2 year old has learned how to unbuckle his car seat. Been practicing my 'dad voice' telling him to stay buckled but he just laughs. Asked a buddy for advice and he said his kid
My wife found 7 baseball caps in the car yesterday and asked why I need so many. I told her they're not for me, they're for all the different dads I become depending on the situati
I told him I was looking for the chapter on how to be a good dad. He said "Dad, you've been making this up as you go for 8 years." I said "Exactly, and look how well you turned out
His teacher called saying he told the class "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!" I have never been more proud and more embarrassed at the
He wanted to go to high school! I've been waiting MONTHS to use this one on him. He groaned so hard I think he pulled something.
My 4yo asked why the cereal box says 'Part of a complete breakfast' and I said 'Because without it, breakfast is incomplete.' He then asked if incomplete breakfast tastes different