My son asked me why I always make bad jokes
I told him it's a fatherhood requirement. He didn't laugh. I think he's already mastered the eye roll before age 7. I'm so proud.
AAdam R.257 views
78
Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
681 threads
I told him it's a fatherhood requirement. He didn't laugh. I think he's already mastered the eye roll before age 7. I'm so proud.
My 5 year old was asking what the weather was doing and I said "It's raining cats and dogs." Without missing a beat he asked "Are the cats landing on their feet?" I've never been s
Because he wanted to see time fly when you're having fun. My 7 year old groaned so hard I thought he pulled something. Worth it.
I told him I like to know how to use my new tools BEFORE something explodes. He asked what could possibly go wrong. I'm not sure how to explain that his existence is proof of my po
I'm now at the age where I get genuinely excited about a good sale at the grocery store and my kids think I'm insane. Spent 15 minutes yesterday telling my oldest about the deal I
I told him it's because I'm a dad. He said that's not a real reason. I said well I guess you could say my logic is pretty... paternal. He groaned so hard I think he hurt himself. M
She put a fake spider on my shoulder and I pretended to freak out. Then she goes 'Dad you're being SO dramatic' and walks away. When did I lose my credibility? I'm the one who shou
Because he was outstanding in his field. My 8 year old actually laughed at this one. I'm on cloud nine. My wife just shook her head and left the room.
Took my kids to get ice cream and the girl at the counter asked if I wanted a cup or cone. I said 'Neither just put it on my tab' and pointed to my stomach. My kids were MORTIFIED.
My 5yo told me 'Why did the scarecrow win an award?' I said why and he goes 'Because he was outstanding in his field!' I've created a monster. He's been telling everyone all week.
You get genuinely excited about a new tool or organizing system. You laugh at your own jokes before the punchline is even done. You wear socks with sandals and don't care what anyo
I told my son I was reading a book about anti gravity. He asked if it was good. I said 'Yeah it's impossible to put down.' He just stared at me. My wife laughed which counts as a w
Told him if he kept eating sweets he'd get a sugar rush. He goes 'Dad, I'm already a sugar rush. I'm your son.' Had to leave the room so he wouldn't see me cracking up. The kid's g
I said 'I've got a joke about sodium.' They said 'Na.' I died laughing. They just stared at me. The pain in their eyes made it even better honestly.
I told her because I wanted to be a role model. She said 'Oh, like a toy car?' I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry. Pretty sure I've been called worse things by my own offspring.
He said why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crumbly. I LOST IT. My wife rolled her eyes so hard but I was dying laughing. This is peak parenting right here. He's g
There's a brand of diapers called pampers. Took me three kids to actually laugh at that. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer. My 4 year old made that one up and honestly
Told my kids we're having a surprise for dinner and my oldest goes what is it and I said if I told you it wouldn't be a surprise. He thinks for a second and goes then how do you kn
I told him I'm at that age where I actually read them now. He said 'Dad you're only 38.' Yeah well apparently I'm 38 going on 68 because I spent 20 minutes reading how to set up a
Was loading the dishwasher and dropped a plate. I said 'Well that's one less thing to wash' and cracked up for a solid minute. My 8 year old just stared at me like I'd lost my mind