My kid's response to my joke was devastating
I asked my 8yo 'What do you call a fake noodle?' and he just looked at me and said 'Dad, please stop.' Before I could even deliver the punchline (an impasta, obviously). When did k
RRuben A.153 views
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Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
362 threads
I asked my 8yo 'What do you call a fake noodle?' and he just looked at me and said 'Dad, please stop.' Before I could even deliver the punchline (an impasta, obviously). When did k
Wife asked me to take out the trash. I said 'I didn't know you were feeling bad about yourself!' She did NOT appreciate my humor. The kids laughed though which is all that matters.
Because he was outstanding in his field! Just hit my 6 year old with this one and he groaned so hard I think he sprained something. Success.
Went to pick up my kids from school and the teacher asks if they've been talking about the field trip. I go 'No, but I hear they're going to the farm - I guess you could say they'r
I said 'Franks and beans' and he goes 'But dad, where's Frank?' I just about died laughing. He got me good. That's the moment I knew I raised him right.
Was doing the midnight run to get my son some water last night and forgot about the lego minefield in the hallway. Stepped directly on a piece and had to physically stop myself fro
Just spent 45 minutes with my kids literally climbing on me like I'm some kind of playground equipment. My 4 year old was doing a handstand on my chest and my 6 year old was trying
My 7 year old came up to me and said 'Dad why did the cookie go to the doctor?' I said 'I don't know buddy why?' He goes 'Because it felt crumbly!' Then he just walks away like he
My daughter looked at me while I was singing along to the radio and said 'Dad you sing like you do everything else, confidently wrong.' I burst out laughing because honestly that's
Just changed my son's diaper this morning and apparently he had other plans. Poop went UP his back, out the side, and somehow inside his sleeve. My wife was laughing so hard she co
I said it's like being a soccer referee. You make a decision, everyone disagrees with you, and somehow you're still the bad guy even when you're right.
Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
I told him it's a fatherly duty. He didn't laugh. I guess you could say my jokes just aren't having kids yet.
We spend the first 2 years teaching our kids to walk and talk. Then we spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up. Make it make sense lol
He goes 'Dad why are you always stealing my fries?' I said 'because you never said the magic word.' He says 'okay fine, ABRACADABRA' and then I realized I raised a smart ass. Also
Kid comes up to me at dinner and says "Dad why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crumbly!" Then he LAUGHS at his own joke like he invented comedy. The crazy part is
Took my 6yo to the park yesterday and he asked me why leaves change color in the fall. I gave him this whole explanation about chlorophyll and temperature changes and he just looke
My wife just rolled her eyes so hard when I told my 8yo that the grocery store doesn't sell eggs anymore because the chickens are on strike. Kid didn't get it at first but then cra
Kid: 'Dad why did you name me Jason?' Me: 'Because we wanted to call you something.' Him: 'That's not funny.' Me: 'That's what your mom said.' Nailed it.
Took my boys to get ice cream and when they asked what I wanted I said 'I scream for ice cream' and just stared at them. My oldest literally groaned so loud the server laughed. Thi