The ultimate dad move happened today
Took my 5 year old to the grocery store and he asked for cereal. I pointed at the store brand box and said 'That's the same cereal, just in different clothes.' He actually believed
SSteve C.238 views
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Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
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Took my 5 year old to the grocery store and he asked for cereal. I pointed at the store brand box and said 'That's the same cereal, just in different clothes.' He actually believed
I said there's no point. He stared at me for a solid 10 seconds then asked if we could go to McDonalds. I think that's a win.
My 4yo asked if the Lucky Charms were actually lucky. I said yeah, lucky for me because I get to eat all the marshmallows she leaves behind. She's still convinced the cereal is bro
I told him I was looking for a date. He didn't laugh. My wife did though, which is basically the same thing right?
I told my kids "I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me" and absolutely lost it while they stared at me in silence. My wife just shook her head. This is the life I chose
A gas passer. My daughter rolled her eyes so hard I thought they'd get stuck. Worth it.
Started innocently enough with some basic knock knock jokes but now we're deep into full pun battles at the dinner table. My wife is suffering but my son is actually thinking throu
He goes "Dad what's for dinner?" and I said "food" and thought I was hilarious. Nobody else did. I will do this again tomorrow.
I said don't worry buddy, we'll straighten this out. He asked how long it would take and I said it would be a process. My wife left the room. I think I'm winning at this dad thing.
Got all three kids in the van yesterday and they all fell asleep within 10 minutes. Just me, the road, and my thoughts for 45 glorious minutes. Didn't even care that we were stuck
I told him because good fathers are always outstanding in their field. He groaned so hard I thought he pulled something.
I said because he was born 9 months after a road trip. He did not laugh. My wife did not laugh. I'm still laughing.
I said nah man I'm just here to pick up milk and eggs. She looked confused. Took me 20 minutes to realize she meant plastic bags not the actual bags under my eyes from 3am feedings
At least I know it's mine and not the baby's for once. Silver linings.
I was making sandwiches and said 'lettuce pray before we eat this lunch.' My 7 year old actually groaned at it which I guess means I'm winning? The 4 year old had no idea what was
So my newborn managed to somehow get poop up to his neck this morning. Like I don't even understand the physics of it. My wife took a picture and sent it to our group chat with 'yo
Today my daughter asked what's for dinner and I said 'food.' She was not amused. Then I told her she should be grateful because some kids don't have anything to eat. She said 'yeah
My daughter asked why I'm bald. I said 'Because I have so many things on my mind that my hair got tired and left.' She literally told me that was the worst joke she'd ever heard. B
Was shopping with my 7yo and he asks if we can get Fruity Pebbles. I said 'Sure, but only if you can handle the truth.' He looks at me confused so I go 'The truth is... your mom al
I told him the show got cancelled and he looked devastated so I said 'Nah just kidding, it's still on. I'm just bingo in real life.' He had no idea what I was talking about but he