Got caught making the same joke twice
My 10 year old said Dad you already told us that joke last week. So I said well I guess you could say it's a RE-run. My wife pretended not to hear me. My son walked out of the room
EEvan M.159 views
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Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
883 threads
My 10 year old said Dad you already told us that joke last week. So I said well I guess you could say it's a RE-run. My wife pretended not to hear me. My son walked out of the room
Was at the grocery store with my 8 month old when he had what I can only describe as a Code Brown situation. It was EVERYWHERE. Up his back, down his legs, all over my shirt. Some
He said: Why did the cookie go to the hospital? I had no idea so he says: Because it felt crumbly! Then he laughed so hard he fell off the couch. Kids jokes are the best because th
My wife hates my cargo shorts but I will die on this hill. Fifteen pockets means I can carry everything I need for a day with my kids without a backpack. Snacks, first aid kit, pho
Because he heard someone had stolen a base. My 8 year old told me to stop but I saw him smiling so I'm counting that as a win.
I was at the grocery store and saw a guy struggling with his toddler in the produce section. The kid was melting down over something. I walked past and said 'Don't worry, it gets e
I said because I'm a dad. He said that doesn't make sense. I said exactly.
Told him if he spills milk on the couch one more time I'm going to have to ground him. He said 'that's not fair, you spill coffee on here all the time.' Kid's got a point. Can't ar
My 4 year old came up to me with a serious face and said 'Dad I have to tell you something important.' I'm thinking oh no what happened. He goes 'I'm not funny like you but I'm lea
Tried to do a whole bit about how I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me. Kid cut me off and said 'dad that's literally on your chin right now.' No punchline needed I gu
My 8 year old asked why I always make puns and I said 'because I'm on a roll' while eating bread. She groaned so hard but then couldn't stop giggling. Also told them 'I'm reading a
Just caught myself using the phrase 'back in my day' to my teenager about cell phones. I'm only 42. It's happening. I'm officially that dad now. Next thing you know I'll be asking
My daughter asked why the cashier was scanning things and I said "She's checking our prices" and my son goes "I thought you were checking YOUR prices Dad because you always say we
I told him I was looking for the part where it says how to be a good dad. He said "Dad those are just suggestions aren't they?" Kid's got me figured out already.
He wanted to make some liquid assets for his kids college fund. My 8 year old didn't get it but my wife gave me that look.
His grades were pretty rough so I said 'These test scores are so low they need their own zipcode.' He did not laugh. My wife laughed though which is basically the same thing.
I told her 'Because being a dad is exhausting.' She said 'No it's not, you just lay in bed.' I got roasted by a preschooler. She's not wrong though and that somehow makes it worse.
He wrote 'Dad tells the same jokes over and over again. I think he has short term memory loss. Should we be worried?' Kid's got jokes. Where do you think he learned it from?
I told him I wanted to know how to use the dishwasher properly. He said "Dad, you're the dishwasher." Absolutely destroyed me. Kid's got jokes now.
Took my 4 year old to the store and he pointed at Frosted Flakes and said "Dad those are GRRRREAT" in the Tony voice. I almost fell over laughing. He's been doing it every time we