The toddler trap
My 3 year old fell down and I asked if he was okay. He said 'I'm not okay I'm three.' I'm still laughing about it. Kids are accidentally hilarious sometimes.
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Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
362 threads
My 3 year old fell down and I asked if he was okay. He said 'I'm not okay I'm three.' I'm still laughing about it. Kids are accidentally hilarious sometimes.
I said 'because your mom asked me to actually build this shelf correctly this time' and he goes 'so you're NOT going to wing it?' Lost it. He's 7 and already knows his old man too
I told him it's genetic. He said that's not how genetics work. I said exactly, neither do my jokes.
It said 'High in Fiber' and I immediately thought about my own digestive system. Then my 7 year old asked why I was laughing at a box of Raisin Bran. Tried to explain it but just m
Made a joke at dinner about how I'm 'on a seafood diet' because I see food and I eat it. My daughter looked at me dead serious and said 'Dad that's not even a joke, that's just you
He said 'I thought dads don't read instructions?' I told him that's only when mom's not looking. He's 7 and already catching on to our culture.
My 9yo just stared at me and said 'Dad that joke has no reaction.' I see what he did there. He's already better at this than I am.
My 2yo pooped right as I finished putting on a fresh diaper. I looked at my wife and said 'Well that's just crappy timing.' She didn't laugh. My son did though and honestly that's
I caught myself making a pun about my kids' cereal this morning and they groaned so hard that my youngest said 'Dad please stop.' I AM BECOMING THE THING I FEARED. Next thing you k
Seriously though, my kids think I'm Gordon Ramsay when I make sandwiches. Their bar is so low that slapping some peanut butter on bread makes me a culinary genius. Mom makes a 5 co
He asked why we had to go to the 'sad vegetable section' and I lost it. He meant produce. He called it the sad vegetable section. My wife is still upset that I bought him a toy for
I said because they keep groaning so I know they're still alive. Ba dum tss. In all seriousness my 8 year old told me my jokes are 'peak dad humor' and I've never been more proud o
My 5 year old asked what time it was and I said it was time to get a watch. I know it's terrible. He lost it. Literally the dumbest joke ever but seeing him laugh that hard was eve
To get away from all the kids. Just kidding I brought all three. Send help.
She asked me why I was so tired. I said daddy had a long day at work. She goes 'maybe you need more sleep daddy because you're always grumpy.' Out of the mouths of babes. She's not
I said why did the chicken go to school? To get a little brighter. He looked at me and said that's not even funny and my wife burst out laughing. I'm realizing my jokes are worse t
I said yeah, your mom when she's mad. He didn't get it but my wife heard from the other room and I'm sleeping on the couch tonight. Worth it.
Went to the grocery store and forgot why I was there. Had to call my wife to ask. She just said "this is why I send you with a list" and hung up. I bought milk anyway because that'
Nothing, it just waved. My 4 year old laughed for like 5 minutes straight. My 10 year old rolled his eyes so hard I thought they'd get stuck back there.
Last week I said 'Well I'm not paying for that' and I FELT myself become my father. Then my 9 year old rolled her eyes exactly the way I used to roll my eyes at my own dad. The cyc