Grocery store dad moment
Saw my kid hiding in a clothing rack at Target. I walked by and said "I'm looking for my son but all I found were these hanging around" and just kept walking. Three dads nearby act
NNicholas R.150 views
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Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
955 threads
Saw my kid hiding in a clothing rack at Target. I walked by and said "I'm looking for my son but all I found were these hanging around" and just kept walking. Three dads nearby act
Every night I try a new pun on my kids before bed. Last night I said "Time to hit the hay" and my 7yo goes "Dad you're not a horse." I said "No but I'm a bit of an ass for these jo
Because it wanted to improve its punchline. Okay I'll see myself out.
I told him I was just trying to raise his standards. He groaned so hard I think he threw out his back.
That feeling when you make a joke and your kid actually laughs instead of eye rolls. It's better than winning the lottery. I'm riding this high for at least a week.
I was at the store and saw a dad with his kid in the cart. I texted my wife "I just saw a guy with his son. He looked so much like me. Must be a family thing." She did NOT find it
Wife: "The kids are being so loud." Me: "Yeah they're on a volume roll." Silence. My oldest: "Dad that doesn't even make sense." Me: "Exactly. Just like my life choices." Wife actu
Been telling my kids for months that I'd take them somewhere special for their birthday. When the day came I took them to the... long johns restaurant and acted like it was my big
Cashier asked how my day was going. I said 'Can't complain, just shopping for groceries.' She said 'That's great!' I said 'Yeah, I'm on a roll... actually I'm buying bread but you
My 4yo pointed at Fruity Pebbles and asked if we could get them. I said 'Sorry buddy, we're on a cereal killer diet.' He didn't laugh. My wife behind me did that laugh-sigh combo t
I told him it's in my DNA. He said 'Dad, that's not how biology works.' I said 'I know, but it IS how dad works!' He groaned so hard I think he threw out his back. Mission accompli
He said he was reading a book on anti-gravity and couldn't put it down. So I asked him if he wanted me to just throw it up in the air for him then. The eye roll was worth every pen
I told him it's a fatherly duty. He said that's not even funny. I said exactly, that's the whole point.
Took my 6 year old grocery shopping yesterday and he pointed at every single box like we were at a museum. I told him we could only get one. He said "but dad these are all cereal-o
Changed a diaper this morning and my 8 month old apparently had some kind of explosion overnight. It was everywhere. Like on his back up to his neck. On the crib sheets. We're talk
I told my son he needed to eat his vegetables. He looks at me and goes 'Dad you're the one who needs vegetables, you have a vegetable belly.' I'm standing there trying not to laugh
This morning before I've had coffee my 6 year old asks me why the sky is blue and if dinosaurs could have survived if we gave them medicine. Then wants to know why I have a beard a
Caught myself telling my kids 'money doesn't grow on trees' yesterday and then making a dad groan when one of them said 'I know dad, it grows in my piggy bank.' I literally sounded
He heard someone had stolen a base. I know it's terrible but I made this one up while making pancakes this morning and my kids actually groaned which means it's officially a dad jo
So I said that's funny because your mother thinks I'm hilarious. She looked at me and said 'Yeah that's probably why she married you' with complete sarcasm. I've been out-dad-joked