The dad joke that made my 5 year old groan
Told my son I was reading a book about anti-gravity. He asked how it was. I said I couldn't put it down. He rolled his eyes so hard I thought they might get stuck. Mission accompli
LLarry K.117 views
15
Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
894 threads
Told my son I was reading a book about anti-gravity. He asked how it was. I said I couldn't put it down. He rolled his eyes so hard I thought they might get stuck. Mission accompli
He doesn't get that his name is just Chris. He thinks I named him Frosted Flakes because that's what I call him most mornings.
I was changing my 3 year old and made a joke about how diapers are designed by people who've never actually changed one. He said 'dad that's not funny' which means I officially sou
I told him I have to, because I haven't dad a chance to come up with new material. He groaned so hard I thought he'd never recover. Worth it.
They're called dad jokes because they're jokes only a dad would think are funny enough to tell. My wife left the room for the third time today when I started talking about how I'm
Was telling my kids about how I was the fastest runner in high school. My daughter asked if that was before or after I got tired walking up the stairs. Wife laughed so hard she spi
I told him I was just checking to make sure I wasn't doing it wrong. He said 'Dad, you always do it wrong anyway.' Kid's got me figured out.
My 6 year old asked me which cereal was healthiest. I said the one with less sugar. He goes 'Then why do you eat the chocolate one?' I have no comeback for this. He won. Life over.
He's 8 and just realized his name is the same as a breakfast brand. The look on his face was priceless. I had to explain we named him after my great grandfather, not Kashi. Still d
Was at the store yesterday with my 2 year old and he started screaming because we didn't get the cookies he wanted. Instead of fighting it I just deadpanned to the lady next to us
Got my 4 year old dressed this morning, sat him down for breakfast, went to pour his juice, and heard the sound. You know the sound. Turned around and somehow it was up his back, d
So I'm changing my 3 month old and BAM, it goes everywhere. I look at my wife and say 'Well, that's the shittiest thing that's happened to me all day.' She threw a wipe at me but I
My 6 year old told his friend that his dad 'fixes things and tells the best worst jokes.' I mean, he's not wrong. Been riding that high for like three days now.
I told him I was trying to understand where he came from. He didn't laugh. My wife did though, so I'm calling that a win.
Got my kids to actually laugh at one of my jokes today without rolling their eyes first. It was about a knock knock joke that didn't work because nobody was home. They groaned but
Took my son to the store and he asked why the bananas were yellow. I said 'Because they're not ripe yet.' Wife just stared at me while my kid looked betrayed. Pretty sure I just ru
Bulldozer. My 6 year old groaned so hard he actually fell over. Mission accomplished.
I said, 'Because your mom thinks they're funny.' He looked confused and said 'No she doesn't.' I replied, 'Exactly. That's why they're called dad jokes.'
Told my teenager a joke at dinner about how I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me. The eye roll was so powerful I think he strained something. My wife couldn't stop lau
I told my 6 year old we were going to have a "fun breakfast surprise" this morning. Made some homemade pancakes from scratch, spent like 45 minutes on them. He looked at the plate