Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
681 threads
Found my 7 year old going through my phone looking at my notes where I keep all my dad jokes. Now he keeps hitting me with 'Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outst
My kids were complaining they were bored so I told them I have a bunch of jobs for them to do around the house. They got real quiet and went to their rooms. Then I yelled 'I was ju
I told him I was just trying to figure out where his off switch is. He did not find it funny. My wife lost it though.
Took my 7 year old to the grocery store and he wanted every single cereal box with a cartoon character. I told him 'You know those mascots are just trying to trick you into wanting
Changed what I thought was a regular diaper explosion on my toddler at the park. Turns out it was EVERYWHERE. My wife says 'looks like you had a real crappy situation there.' I'm s
Been dropping dad jokes on my kids for years and now they're beating me at it. My 6 year old told me 'I'm reading a book about anti gravity, it's impossible to put down!' I didn't
Took my 8 year old to the grocery store and he goes 'Dad why did the cookie go to the doctor?' I set myself up and asked why. He says 'Because it felt crumbly!' Then he laughed so
I walked into the kitchen still in my gym clothes from yesterday and my kid looks at me and goes 'Dad are you a magician? Because every time you go to the gym you disappear and com
I told him real men don't need instructions. Two hours later I'm calling my wife asking how to assemble the IKEA bookshelf. He walked by and just shook his head at me. Pretty sure
Even better, the friend actually laughed. I think I'm finally getting my audience. My wife says that just means the friend has low standards but whatever, I'll take the W.
They were so hyped until we got there and they realized it wasn't that kind of bank. The look on their faces was priceless. Now I'm the bad guy for 'lying' to them.
Because he was outstanding in his field. My 6yo groaned so hard. Mission accomplished.
When did this happen? I have like 8 pairs of dinosaur socks and one pair of black. My kids think this is hilarious. Yesterday my son said my feet matched his better than his mom's
I told him I wanted to know what the box said because it was a surprise. He looked at me like I had three heads. Then I realized I was reading the cereal box at 6am still half asle
Last week took my 5 year old to a decent place. He spent 20 minutes explaining to the waiter how his action figure could defeat the waiter's grandmother. The waiter was not amused.
One minute you're a normal adult and the next you're analyzing the exact shade and consistency of something that came out of a tiny human. You're also doing it in public sometimes.
I said because your mom thinks they're funny. He looked at me confused and said 'No she doesn't, she literally leaves the room.' Guess the joke's on me.
I told her my son was at that phase where he refuses to eat anything green. She just scanned my items. I added 'At least he gets his stubbornness from his mother.' Still nothing. W
We're going to be huge. Just waiting for a cover.
I told him it's a dad reflex. He said 'that's not funny' and I said 'I know, that's why I'm telling it.' He walked away shaking his head. Mission accomplished.