Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
894 threads
She asked me 'Why don't scientists trust atoms?' and I said I dunno. She goes 'Because they make up everything' and I was so proud but also this means she's just gonna steal all my
He points at the poster about nutrition and goes 'Dad why does it say you should eat a balanced diet, I thought we ate at a table?' I had to leave the room I was laughing so hard.
Told my 8 year old 'I'm reading a book about anti-gravity, it's impossible to put down' and he literally googled it to see if that's how anti-gravity works. The joke explaining jus
I said 'because you're always on it pad' and walked away before she could respond. Her eye roll was absolutely legendary. I'm pretty sure she's plotting against me.
Got those perfect grill marks on my steaks tonight and my family acted like I just invented fire. My wife said I was more excited about the meat than I was about her birthday gift.
I see food and I eat it. Been using this one since the 90s and my teenagers still roll their eyes every single time. That's when you know it's a classic.
It got mugged. My kids literally groaned out loud at breakfast when I said this one. I'm pretty sure that's how you know it's a quality dad joke.
So I'm lying there on the couch supposedly watching the kids while they're supposed to be napping and I fall asleep. Wake up to my daughter standing right next to my face just star
He came home upset about something at school. I could tell he wanted to talk about it but was being all moody. So I started rattling off the worst jokes I could think of. By the th
My 6 year old was eating cereal and I said "looks like you're having a bowl-d morning." My wife just stared at me. My daughter laughed though, which means I'm winning at something
I told him it's because I'm a dad. He said that's not a good reason. I said you're right, it's a GREAT reason. He groaned so hard I thought he pulled something. Mission accomplishe
I was just cheering and made a pun about the goalie. My 10 year old literally said "Dad please stop" from the field. Worth it. The other dads laughed. That's my people now.
Took my kids to the grocery store and my 5 year old asked why there were so many choices of cereal. I said son, life is about options. He immediately asked if he could get Froot Lo
I told him it's because I'm a dad. He said that's not a good reason. I said well it's a good dad reason. He groaned so loud the neighbors heard him.
Because he heard someone had stolen a base!
So my 7 year old had his first soccer game today and he spent most of it picking dandelions in the outfield. When the ball actually came near him he panicked and kicked it backward
Wife was frustrated because the kids wouldn't settle down for bed so I told them 'You better get some sleep or you'll be tired tomorrow' and when they didn't listen I said 'More li
I need some new material because my kids are calling me out on repeating the same ones. What are your staples? I've been leaning on 'I'm reading a book on the history of glue - can
So my son learned what a dad joke is yesterday and now he's been making them all day. Most don't even make sense but he laughs so hard he falls over. Just told me 'Why did the chic
Tried to make a joke during dinner while running on like 4 hours of sleep from being up with the baby all night. Made absolutely zero sense and everyone just stared at me. Wife sai